Until The Very End
by ThoseWhoWander98
Summary: James and Lily Potter... even true love cannot always have a happy ending.
1. Chapter 1

**SOMETHING CRAZY**

**A REALIZATION**

_**I like the way you're everything I ever wanted**_

Lily Evans smiled as she looked at the tall, thin, grinning boy with the black hair who was sitting just a few feet away on the grass. James Potter. She'd never really thought about it before last year, but he was really quite handsome. Lily decided that it was something in the way he stood. He would really be just average with dark, ruffled hair and those hazel eyes, but he held himself confidently, like he knew what he was doing and didn't care what anyone else thought. Confidence that Lily had once mistaken for arrogance.

Lily's friend Mary poked her shoulder. "Lily, earth to Lily. Come back from planet James, please. I need help with my Charms essay. I've no idea how we're supposed to finish three and a half feet of parchment on the theory of a fire charm, honestly. Professor Gragger is mad."

Lily smiled. "I was NOT thinking about James, Mary! Well, have you written about the invention of the fire charm? What about—"

"Or maybe the pronunciation?" a voice came from behind the two lounging girls, a boy's voice. Lily whirled her head around. James Potter stood behind her and Lily rolled her eyes. He must have been quiet, she thought. She remembered that he had recently turned seventeen, a couple months after herself. She also noticed that about five feet away, his friends were all watching intently as he talked to them.

Without asking, James settled on the grass beside Lily, smiling. "So, Lily—" It was only last June that James had finally stopped calling Lily 'Evans', which had come as somewhat as a relief—"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to Hogsmead with Sirius and I next week? Mary could go with Sirius, if she wanted."

Lily knew that Mary wanted very much. Since their second year Mary had gone on and on about how hot Sirius Black was. Lily had to admit he was handsome, but he'd always been such an arrogant git that she'd never really paid attention.

"Um, sure, that sounds great." Lily smiled and Mary nodded.

"Yeah. Er, is Sirius... around?" Mary asked hopefully. James shook his head.

"Nah. Avery and him got into a pretty bad row and they're both in the Hospital Wing," James lied, turning his back on Mary and continuing to talk to Lily. "Nice day, isn't it? Wish we were allowed to swim in the lake."

Lily laughed. "Giant squid sure is lucky."

Feeling awkward, Mary got up and walked away. Niether James nor Lily noticed; they were too deep in conversation about the warm September sun warming the grass and the tranquil lake waters. Mary found it kind of hilarious that her best friend looked so happy talking about the weather.

As Mary was walking sideways, trying to cross the grounds and keep watching James and Lily at the same time, she bumped into an angry, tall, black-haired boy with bad skin. Pressing her lips together tightly, she nodded at him. "Snape," she said, trying to be civil. She had tried to avoid ever since the year before last, when he'd broken Lily's heart by betraying her trust and meddling in the Dark Arts.

He nodded back. "McDonald." Irritated, Mary continued up the steps and by the time she was inside, all unpleasant thoughts of Severus Snape had disappeared and her mind had happily wandered back to the near-supernatural attractiveness of Sirius Black.

When James stood from talking to Lily he was thanking the gods (God? Jesus? Merlin? He didn't know.). Finally! Finally, she said yes. His knees seemed to be made out of something slightly less sturdy than water as he walked back to where his friends were sitting. "Well?" asked Sirius, who was perfectly fine and not in the hospital wing. "You seem somewhat happier than you were when you left, Prongs."

"Well, I didn't think she'd go with me when I left, did I?" James chuckled at his friends reaction when he said this. They'd been waiting for him to start dating Lily almost as eagerly as James had ever since second year when they'd realized that, hey, girls were good for something besides decent conversation.

"And, er, Sirius... you're going with Mary."

"Mary McDonald?" Sirius gave James a look that psyched him out. Hadn't Sirius just yesterday been talking about the girl? "That's fantastic, James!" James breathed a sigh of relief before marvelling at his success. He, James Potter, would be spending Saturday with the girl of his dreams—and maybe, if all went well—maybe he would kiss her, too.

The following week, a group of four, two girls and two boys, trekked across the smooth green grass and over rolling hills to the lane that would lead to the wizarding village of Hogsmeade. Laughing and joking, the group made its happy way onwards, oblivious to the strong, biting wind or the bitter looks being sent their way by a thin, greasy-haired boy not far back, who was standing with his friends.

"It's all right, Snape," Avery said to him, noticing where his younger friends' eyes kept wandering. "You're far better off without that sort of riffraff. Can you imagine dating a Mudblood? No, you made the right choice, don't worry..."

Ahead, Lily was darting away from James as he playfully tried to snatch her wand from the inside pocket of her cloak. "James!" she cried, pulling back away from his reaching hand. "Stop it!" Despite her harsh tone, she was giggling nearly uncontrollably. Meanwhile, Mary and Sirius were holding hands and were deep in discussion about what might be on the History of Magic homework next week.

Lily and James walked a bit ahead of their friends, talking more quietly now. "James?" Lily asked. James looked up, and his curious eyes made Lily feel like she was melting. "Why did you always used to bully Sever—Snape? I mean... what had he ever done to you?" It was a question Lily had meant to ask for quite a while, but she still found it so painful to talk about Severus, and she'd never actually been alone, in private with James before.

James hesitated before answering. "I guess it was just a habit, you know? I mean ever since that first day when you two left Sirius and I in our compartment, I knew he'd be a pain. Imagine, wanting to be a Slytherin!" He smiled. "Not to mention that he'd denied me the chance to sit with a very pretty girl." He paused, and before he could start talking again, they'd reached the Three Broomsticks.

"Oh, James, can we go in? I'm starved," Lily said, looking somewhat longingly at the warm, welcoming lights of the building that would be refuge from the chilly spring air and the strong winds off the lake. James nodded and they entered the building.

Once they were settled at a table, James kept talking. "And he was always with you, you know? I guess... well, I thought he was bad for you. Turns out I was right." Lily shot him a warning glance and James quickly changed the subject. "But... the real reason would have to be that I could tell he was absolutely crazy about you."

Lily's eyes widened. "Sev? No way! I won't believe it, he's absolutely hated me ever since fifth year..."

James raised his eyebrows but said nothing. Eager to change the subject, he said, "Well, now you know a bit about me, and I think it's time I got to know a bit about you." Lily grinned.

"And what would that be, then, James?" Lily leaned forward in anticipation.

"I always wondered why you hated me."

Lily laughed. She burst out into giggles and she just couldn't stop. After a few minutes, James began to chuckle at her hysterics, and soon after the couple was laughing loudly and raucously at the table. Across the room, jealousy bubbled in the stomach of a Slytherin boy watching them.

When Lily was out of breath and her stomach hurt for laughing, she finally stopped. James asked, "What's the joke? I don't get it."

Lily grinned. "I never hated you, James, it's just, you were always so arrogant, you know? Captain of Quidditch, prefect, good student, funny. I guess I always saw: conceited sports-player, stupid authority, flaunting cleverness, and bullying, and... I don't know. You were always so rude to me. 'Oh, Evans, care to come up to the boys dorm tonight?'" Lily said, doing an uncannily accurate imitation of the fifteen-year-old James Potter. "And you were SO mean to Severus. I suppose I stopped caring so much about that a couple years ago, but still. I didn't want to be like all the other girls: totally and absolutely in love with dreamy Quidditch player James Potter and his mysterious, good-looking friend, Sirius Black." She laughed.

James grinned. _Dreamy._ James knew it was a girls' term, but he also knew that it probably meant Lily liked him—maybe a lot. He took a long, confident swig of his butterbeer.

Lily continued. "But I never hated you. You were always a major annoyance and kind of a git, but I hated people like... Malfoy, or Avery. Them I hated, still hate, in fact. You were just conceited."

"Oh, so that's comforting, then," James said, and Lily giggled. They went on like this for ages, telling jokes and stories as they finished their drinks and got up to explore the village. They discussed almost everything, from classes, to homework, to friends, to enemies, to what they wanted to do after school and which teachers they hoped got sacked. After a while, they ran into Mary and Sirius again, and the group of four bought ice creams from Honeydukes. They sat outside on a bench, licking the cones and talking amicably.

Far too soon, Mary and Sirius had to return to the castle, for, not being prefects or Head Boy or Girl, they couldn't stay in the village past dinner. Lily and James, however, stayed out and sat, growing ever colder as the night grew darker, talking for a while, or sitting in comfortable silence. After a while, James said, "We'd better head up to the castle, it's getting cold." Lily nodded and together they headed up the hills and back to Hogwarts.

That night, Lily lay in her bed, unable to sleep, her mind twisting and turning over the Hogsmeade visit with James. It was only when she was nearly asleep that she realized—she'd been having fun today. With James Potter. Well, she thought, there's a first time for everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**AT THE POTTERS'**

_**It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something, it's fearless**_

_Dear Mum,_ Lily wrote.

_I know you really wanted me to be home for the holiday, but James' parents have invited me to their place for Christmas, and I really thought it would be polite to say yes. Also, I didn't want to hurt James' feelings. He may act confident and cool, but he's really quite a worrier, he over-analyzes everything, you know? _

_Not to mention I've never been to James' house and I really want to meet his parents, after all, he is coming to our place for Easter. _

_I love you, Mum, I hope you like your gift (I can't tell you what it is, of course, but I think you'll like it!). Tell Dad and Petunia hello and I love them from me, okay?_

_Thanks, Mum. I'll write you all from the Potters'._

_Love from,_

_LILY_

Smiling dreamily, Lily folded her letter in two and slid it into a thick parchment envelope, scrawling the word 'Mum' on the cover in hurried writing. Then she tied it to the waiting leg of her large gray owl, Sova. Sova was a handsome gray owl with inquisitive yellow eyes so wide and curious that Lily sometimes wondered if they were intelligent as well.

"Take that to Mum, please, Sova. I'll have some lovely treats for you when you get back, I promise." Sova nudged Lily's cheek with her beak before turning to the owlery window and taking off, spreading her majestic wings wide in the fall sky. Lily watched Sova go for a while before leaving the dim, smelly room to join her friends Mary and Jessica in Gryffindor Tower before the Charms class they had in half an hour.

On her way to Gryffindor Tower, Lily ran into Sirius. Quite literally, too, she had been thinking fondly about James and staring at the floor and she had bumped right into him as he was headed down to the owlery. "Lily!" Sirius said, beaming widely. "Just the girl I was looking for. So, listen, James wants to know if you've written your Mum yet about the holiday. If you ask me," Sirius said knowingly, "he's quite keen."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Of course I've written her, I've just send Sova off now," she replied breezily, eager to return to the common room and discuss the holidays with her friends before class. "I expect Mum won't be too happy about me not being home, but Petunia will no doubt be thrilled," she added sadly.

Sirius nodded. "Well, I'll tell him that, then."

The two headed back to Gryffindor Tower together, not talking much, each in their own realm of thought before Lily burst out, "How're things with you and Mary?"

Sirius bit his tongue, not sure how to answer. "They're... all right. Not great. Not like you and James. All over the school it is, clever Lily and talented James, Head Boy and Girl dating, both in Gryffindor. You two are quite the subject of interest. I've heard quite a few girls plotting your demise, though, Lily," Sirius joked, laughing. "I'd keep my guard up if I were you!"

They had reached the Fat Lady's portrait. "Fiddlehead," Lily said smartly, and the Fat Lady swung open. Sirius and Lily clambered inside the common room, Lily joining her friends and Sirius joining his.

Two weeks later, James and Lily were sitting together on the train with Mary, James' friend Remus, and a ratty boy named Peter whom Lily thought looked as though he needed a good cup of her Mum's strong tea.

"Anybody fancy a game of LeviCorp?" Remus suggested. LEviCorp, a popular game among young wizards, involved levitating objects as high as you could for as long as you could. As most levitation spells fizzled out after less than fifteen minutes, the game wasn't particularly long, and it usually involved quite a bit of snap talk and good-natured banter.

The group all nodded and brought out their wands. James sacrificed a set of marbles for the game, even though James pointed out that objects often didn't survive being levitated by Peter, who flushed scarlet and murmured something indecipherable.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Lily cried, not bothering to do a non-verbal spell. The large round marble lifted easily off the seat and floated up to the ceiling until it was bumping against the roof, trying to float higher. Peter's marble strained to soar about half as high, and then struggled to remain airborne as the other's levitated their marbles, most climbing nearly to the roof, but only Remus' joining hers.

All too soon, the Hogwarts Express pulled in to King's Cross Station, and the crush of Hogwarts students pressed out of the train. Less than a tenth of the school had remained for Christmas holidays, and so there was great care taken in getting everyone into the main train station without the Muggles noticing.

When James, Lily, Mary, Remus, and Peter finally got out, they all said their goodbyes and then parted ways, Peter following a mousy-faced couple, Mary going off toward her parents, her little sister Bertha trailing behind her, and Lily awkwardly following James toward a tall brunette with wide eyes like James', and a tall thin man with James' black hair.

When they reached the couple, James said, "Mum! Dad! Happy Christmas," and threw his arms around his mother's neck. After hugging had finished, he stepped back. "Mum, Dad—meet Lily. Lily Evans. Lily, this is my Mum and Dad."

Lily smiled and shook hands with Mr and Mrs Potter. "Call me Tabitha," James' mother said. "And this is Walter."

"Nice to meet you," Lily said rather shyly.

The group trekked to the parking lot, where a decent-sized car stood, ready to take them back to James' home. It took a while, but when they arrived, Lily gasped. She knew James' family was fairly wealthy, and their house was much larger than the one that she shared with her parents and Petunia. James beamed as they pulled up in front of the snowy yard.

"Welcome to my place!" James said, putting his arm around Lily. Lily grinned. She'd made the right choice coming to James'.

Over the next few days, Lily was welcomed warmly in the Potter household. Mrs Potter was very fond of baking, and she seemed to enjoy stuffing both her son and Lily full of cookies, pies, cakes, and squares.

The Potters' had given Lily a cosy room on the second floor, with a large, comfortable bed with a thick white-and-green quilt and pillowcases on it, a hardwood floor with a rug, a window that gave a beautiful view of the snow-covered street, and pretty yellow-and-green wallpaper decorated with little tiny butterflies that Lily enjoyed making flutter around. She relished being able to use magic outside school, and watching the butterflies often kept her awake long into the night.

Meanwhile, James was thrilled to be home. In between sweets and jokes and time with Lily he would sit thoughtfully gazing out a window or have long talks with his parents. During these times Lily would feel awkward and retreat to her room, reading her school books and catching up on homework.

Christmas Eve came quickly. The sky was bright white with clouds, from which snow floated down happily. The day was bitterly cold with wind, but the Potter's house was warm and the family and Lily spent the day talking, listening to wizard radio and playing violet games of wizard chess. A happy fire crackled in the fireplace and the delicious smells of Mrs Potter's cooking spread throughout the entire house.

Sometime in the late afternoon, Lily and James retreated to the backyard. It was one of their first moments alone since arriving.

Snow drifted down and landed on Lily's shoulders as James said, "My parents love you, you know." Lily beamed.

"That's good," she replied sleepily. "They're really nice. Your mum's an amazing cook, and your dad's real clever." James grinned proudly.

"Thanks. Dad was in Gryffindor like us, but he says the Hat nearly put him in Ravenclaw, can you imagine!" He laughed.

Lily leaned her head on James' shoulder. "What about your mum? She seems like a Hufflepuff to me—really nice, really kind, loyal."

James shook his head. "Gryffindor, too. Guess it was no surprise that I ended up there."

They were silent for a moment, watching the falling snow and the warm lights of the big house in front of them. The bench was growing cold under James and Lily's legs, but neither one of them moved. Finally, Lily asked, "Why do you like me, James?"

For once, confident James Potter hesitated before answering. "Well, you're smart. And brave. And you stand up for what you believe in. You're not afraid to work for what you want, and you're determined—or maybe stubborn is a better word. You're unimaginably pretty." Lily blushed. "But mostly? It's just because there's a light inside you, Lily. And I can't ignore it, really." Lily fell silent, shocked. Even in the past two years when he'd matured, Lily had never heard something so deep come from James.

"What about you?" he asked her. "What made you stop thinking I was a conceited, arrogant bastard and start thinking I was someone worthy for you to date, hmm?" He looked at her expectantly.

Lily thought for a moment. "You were always really immature, but in fifth year... you hit rock bottom you know? You were a bully, frankly. Especially to Snape. You got so much better in sixth year. Stopped calling me Evans, for one, and you stopped just hexing people. I guess I could see beyond the antics and I realized: you weren't just arrogant. You were funny, and clever. You were athletic. Attractive. And—and—" Lily was almost crying, her voice was thick with emotion. Alarmed, James sat up straight.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing. You were just so amazing, James. You were strong. You protected Peter and Remus when they were in trouble. You were brave, true, and loyal. And—and I love you."

Lily didn't know what to expect when she said the words she'd been thinking for months, but whatever it was, it wasn't for James to lean in abruptly, and kiss her.

They sat for Lily didn't know how long, lips pressed together, snow melting on their shoulders, until they finally had to stop—because both Lily and James had started smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

**HIS FAULT, HER FAULT**

_**Your hands are tough but they are where mine belong**_

Everyone noticed that Lily and James had returned to Hogwarts with a new spring in their step. No one knew what had happened at the Potters' over the holiday except for Sirius ("Seriously, you spend years chasing a girl and when you finally kiss her you don't even snog?") and Mary ("You kissed him! You're kidding me! That's brilliant, Lily!"). The new term came in with Lily happier than anyone had ever seen her, James grinning and playing better at Quidditch than ever, and, Mary noticed, Severus Snape of Slytherin house looking increasingly bitter.

One cold Febuary night, James told Lily to come upstairs with him. Apprehensive, she went upstairs, with Sirius cat-calling and Mary raising her eyebrows high enough to lift something heavy. Lily sat down on someone's bed when they got to the boy's dormitory. James turned his back on her and bent over, rummaging in his trunk for something.

After a few minutes of silence he emerged, holding an old, battered square of parchment. Lily laughed. "Oh, ha, ha! You brought me up here for a square of parchment, I _don't_ think..."

James shook his head. "No, no. Watch." He pulled out a long wand and tapped the parchment. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Lily leaped up and back up. "What?"

After a second of confusion, James laughed. "Don't you trust me, Lily? Come sit, and see what Sirius, Remus, Peter and I've done." Lily peered down at the page and gasped. There was a map of Hogwarts, and sitting in the boys' dormitory, right where she and James were... were two tiny dots with "Lily Evans" and "James Potter" written in miniscule writing.

"Brilliant!" Lily cried. James beamed. Lily examined the map. "Ooh, look, there's Mary and Jessica—oh, and there's Sirius! Look..." Lily went on about the wonders of the map, and James watched her green eyes alight with wonder. Her red hair fell in a curtain across her pale face. James (with some difficulty) resisted the urge to kiss her, and instead tucked her hair behind her ear.

Lily looked up from the map, startled. Then she smiled. James thought she positively glowed when she smiled.

"Here—I've got something else to show you, too. Just a mo." He returned to his trunk and pulled something out—something long, thin, and silvery, that seemed to flow like water in his hands. He was sitting back on the bed smoothing it out, when Lily finally realized.

"Is—is that a _cloak?_" Lily asked, astounded. "It's—it's amazing, James, where'd did you get it?"

James hushed her and stood to pull the cloak on. As he did, Lily nearly screamed.

"Oh, my God, James! Where—what—?" Lily stood as well, watching James' levitating head. She put her hand out; she could still feel James, and hear him, but when she looked—it appeared that the only existing part of James was his head.

"It's an Invisibility Cloak," James said, fairly shining with pride. Lily smiled at the mischievous look in his eye that he so often got. "Got it from my dad the year before I started here, in fact. Mum didn't approve, said it would get me into all sorts of trouble. Of course, the real point of an Invisibility Cloak is to get you out of trouble."

"Could—could I try it out?" Lily asked, almost reverently. James nodded, passing her the silky smooth, light fabric. Lily felt it between her fingers for a moment, relishing the texture, before she swung it over her shoulders and put up the hood. Then she got an idea.

Quietly, she moved from her spot. James' eyes stayed where she'd been standing before. Resisting the temptation to laugh out loud, Lily kept moving, until she was standing right behind James. She took off the Cloak, and, trying not to giggle, wrapped her arms around James' waist.

"Gah!" he yelled. Lily laughed. James spun around to find her right in front of him, grinning broadly.

Lily leaned her head into James' chest. He smelled of woodsmoke, she realized, and, oddly, oranges. She felt as though electricity had been shot through her entire body.

After a moment of standing like this, alone in the dorm, Lily said awkwardly, "We'd better head down—I'm getting tired." Reluctantly, James took his arms away from her and the couple walked downstairs, looking, Mary thought, like they knew something that no one else knew.

That night, Lily was woken abruptly by stern voices in the common room. One of them belonged to James, and the other sounded much like Sirius. Curious, Lily climbed out of bed, thrust her feet into her slippers, and tiptoed silently down the stairs of the girls' dormitory.

Crouching behind an armrest, Lily saw the two boys arguing. James' back was to her, but she could see Sirius' face—and it was angry. Very angry.

"You showed her the Map?" Sirius exclaimed, outraged. His eyes were narrowed and his mouth thin. Lily frowned. She'd never seen Sirius mad at James before.

James sounded sheepish as he replied, "And the Cloak."

"What! James, those are OUR secrets! Marauder secrets. And if you think that you can give them out to any pretty girl off the street, then you've got another think coming, because you can't, James, remember. The Map is for US, not for her! How could you betray us like this?"

James glared. He felt anger swelling up inside himself like an unpleasant bubble, which he hated, because he'd never been angry with Sirius before. "Look, Sirius, she's not just a girl off the street. She's—she's perfect, Sirius, and I think... I think I might be in love with her."

Sirius would not be moved. "I've been with plenty of girls, James, and I haven't told any of them."

"This—this is different, Sirius, I know it is. Just lay off, OK? I've got it."

Sirius did not reply. Instead he glared at James and stormed off upstairs. James sunk into one of the armchairs, a particularly squashy one beside the fireplace. Lily was torn. Should she come out and tell James she'd heard? Or go back upstairs and try to sleep. Finally, Lily decided that she couldn't sleep, and emerged from behind the chair.

"Er, James?" Lily said timidly.

James whirled around, and, when he saw it was her, relaxed. "Merlin, Lily, don't scare me like that... what's up?"

Lily grinned at this. He didn't complain, not one iota, about the fight, he asked her what was wrong. That was so sweet... "Nothing. It's just... I woke up, and I heard—I heard shouting, so I came downstairs to investigate, and—well-,"

"You heard?" James finished. Lily nodded.

"I'm sorry I was listening, but you've never fought with Sirius before. I hate to think this is my fault..." Lily sounded distressed.

Suddenly, James sat up very straight. "You know what? It's not your fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I chose to show you the map. And Sirius can be mad all he likes. I don't regret it one bit." That last bit, James thought, was a bit of a lie. He did regret fighting with his best friend. He did regret making him mad. But he didn't regret showing Lily his biggest secret. What he had said before was true—he really did love her. And, he thought reflectively, it was probably time he told her out loud, too.

He leaned in closer; so close that Lily could feel his warm, safe breath on her cheek. Her heart was fluttering, her body felt like it could soar, but no, James was tying her down, keeping her on the planet and when he whispered in her ear, she felt a jolt just below her stomach.

"Lily Evans," he whispered. "I am absolutely and totally in love with you." And from the way he said it, Lily knew he was telling the truth. She perched so that she was sitting on top of him in the armchair, but she didn't kiss him. She looked him straight in his beautiful, amazing, perfect hazel eyes and said,

"I love you too." She closed her eyes softly as she felt James play gently with the ends of her hair, and then she opened her mouth slightly to kiss him.

The moment was shining, gleaming with perfection. It wasn't like people had told her it would be—it wasn't hot and rough and lustful, it was the perfect combination of soft and passionate, eyes closed and mouths slightly off centre. Lily knew in that moment that what she felt for James was special, different. Though she'd dated before, she'd never let anyone snog her before this moment, and right now, she knew that had been a good choice. She wanted to share this for the first time with James.

What Lily felt in that moment wasn't lust, or even joy. It was love, love for James and the world, and hope, hope that one day she might get to have the honour of being with this beautiful, beautiful person forever. Because Lily knew that as long as the world let her love James Potter, everything would be okay.


	4. Chapter 4

**BAD NEWS**

_**I'm only up when you're not down, don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground**_

Lily was relieved when, in mid-April, around Easter, James and Sirius finally made up. James had been unhappy ever since their fight, and she hated to see him so tense, especially before final exams. Lily was also relieved that James wouldn't be upset during their time at the Evans' over Easter.

James, however, was cautious. "Doesn't your sister hate magic?" he asked one day. Lily nodded.

"But she'll like you, I know she will. And Mum'll love you too; she's been waiting for me to meet a 'nice wizard boy' since fourth year." James forced a laugh. For all the bravado he put on, he was scared silly about meeting Lily's parents. They'd been dating for nearly eight months now, and he was meeting them for the first time in just a week. He was also rather nervous about meeting Lily's Muggle sister, Petunia, whom, according to Lily, had never been a fan of magic.

At the same time, James was thrilled to be spending the Easter break with Lily. He was also eager to spend a whole week and a half in a Muggle house. He'd heard about Muggles from Muggleborns in his dorm and from Lily, but it would be interesting to see how they actually lived.

The day that Easter break started was warm, pleasantly breezy and blue-skied. The students going home (considerably fewer than at Christmas, but still a good half the school) were piled into the horseless carriages and taken down the station. The Hogwarts Express was full to bursting. It was only James, Lily and Mary in their compartment, because Sirius had, after his apparently hellish Christmas, decided to remain at school with Remus, who wanted to catch up on work, and Peter, who had gotten in a row with his father.

They played no wizard games this time, instead, James restlessly traced shapes and words in the air with his wand while Lily and Mary talked idly. After about an hour, James couldn't take the thick, restless quiet anymore, and he abruptly stood, muttering, "Loo."

James made his way down the corridor, ignoring the frequent chorus of, "Hey, James!" "Excited for the holidays, James?" "Fancy a game of Exploding Snap, James?" and walking swiftly down to the bathroom. Once there, he lingered longer than he might have, because, as much as he wanted to see Lily, it was stuffy in the compartment and there were things he wanted to tell her that he couldn't say with Mary there.

The remaining hours passed swiftly; once James rejoined Lily and Mary he took part in conversation and they all felt that the train pulled in at King's Cross far too soon.

This time, James and Lily, after saying their goodbyes to Mary, were some of the first ones out of platform 9 ¾, and Lily dashed away immediately, tearing towards a tall man with red hair and green eyes, and a brunette women with Lily's delicate build and pleasant face. Behind them stood a horsey-faced eighteen-year-old with curly blonde hair and a sullen expression .James took this to be Lily's older sister.

Lily had buried her face in her father's broad chest, grinning. "Dad! I missed you all so much. Oh, I have so much to tell you!" She then moved on to her mother. "Mum! Oh, Mum, you're going to be so thrilled when I tell you about my grades." She pulled herself off of her mother and went back to where Petunia stood.

"Petunia."

"Lily."

James coughed. Lily shook herself out of deep thought and said, "Mum and Dad, this is James Potter. James, these are my parents. And my older sister. Petunia, this is James. He's a wizard, like me." Mrs Evans stuck out her hand. She seemed happy with James and told him he was 'a very handsome young man', to which James awkwardly thanked her, flushing.

James then shook hands with Lily's father, who seemed much less impressed with this tall, messy-haired boy with the rectangular glasses and the mischievous grin and untidy demeanour. "I'm James Potter," James told Mr Evans, smiling his winning smile.

Tersley, Mr Evans replied, "Gerald Evans." He didn't seem fond of James at all, a fact that both James and Lily picked up on.

Awkwardly, Lily tried to break the tension. "Um, Dad. James is really into Transfiguration... and..." she fished around for something, anything that her father and her boyfriend had in common. "Um... sports! Oh, yeah, he's a big Quidditch hero, aren't you, James?"

James stood, shocked. It was the first time that Lily had actually invited him to brag about sports. It took him a moment to get over the surprise, but when he did, he said, "Yeah. Chaser for Gryffindor. House Cup six years in a row, right, Lily?"Lily agreed cheerfully. Mr Evans gave a grudging smile.

"Good on you, James." Lily grinned at her father, sending him the mental message, _thank you for accepting him!_

The ride home consisted of James, Lily, and Lily's parents making polite conversation about school, Quidditch, what was for dinner, the stifling weather, school, magic, and school while Petunia sat pouting in the back seat. It was quite a ride to Cokeworth, but when they finally arrived at Spinner's End, Lily saw a very battered car pull up at a small, worn house at the opposite end of the block. Biting her lip, she resolutely turned her back.

James had rushed up to the front door to watch Mr Evans slide in the key. "Brilliant!" he breathed. "Such metalwork; that's amazing, Mr Evans..." Fascinated, James went on and on about the "Muggle-magic" in the Evans house: from moving pictures ("It's like they've died!") to the telephone ("You can talk to anyone?") to the electrical lighting ("We always use candles at home"), James was taken by everything. Lily smiled as she watched him dart around the familiar rooms, picking up ordinary household objects and marvelling at them. Mrs Evans immediately set about making a pot of strong tea, while Mr Evans showed James the Muggle newspaper. Petunia rudely retreated upstairs to telephone her boyfriend, a beefy boy named Vernon who was, Lily thought, as Muggle as you could get, really.

Finally, Lily persuaded James to follow her upstairs, lugging his bag. Lily had left hers in the living room.

"So, James, we don't have much room, so you'll be in my room and I'll be on the sofa downstairs." James started to protest, but Lily cut in. "Nope! You're the guest, and even if I wanted to sleep in my bed, Mum would insist. Come on."

Lily swung open a white door with the large block letters "L I L Y" traced on it to reveal a comfortable room. James smiled when he saw the walls plastered with a bizarre mixture of wizard and Muggle posters. There was one for the Holyhead Harpies, he saw, and one for the wizarding band "The Headless Hippogriffs", whom, despite their violent name, appeared to be modestly dressed sixteen year old girls with very blonde hair.

Lily watched James expectantly as he viewed her small, carpeted room. He could feel her eyes boring into the back of his skull as he took in the white desk, the large bookshelf, and the quilted bed.

"Is it okay?" Lily asked suddenly. "Because we could give you Tuney—I mean, Petunia's room, it's much bigger..." Agitated, she looked up. TO her shock, James had turned around, and he was beaming widely.

"It's brilliant, Lily." Breathing a sigh of relief, Lily followed James downstairs.

The following four days passed well at the Evans house, Lily thought. Her father and James were on increasingly good terms, as James was fascinated by football and Mr Evans seemed to be dying to learn the finer points of a Quidditch game. Lily and her Mum spent hours catching up as Lily told her about Mary, about Sirius, about grades, about the teachers, and , Mrs Evans noticed, Lily told her an awful lot about James Potter.

Petunia, however, was rarely in the house; she would wake early each morning, stay on the telephone for an hour and then leave the house. Lily suspected she was seeing her Muggle boyfriend, whom Lily did not exactly have a high opinion of.

Then, on the morning of their fifth day, James went downstairs to the extremely loud tapping of an owl on the window. Sleepily, James looked to see whose owl it was. It woke him up when he saw a large tawny owl, whom he was sure he had sent home for Easter. And his parent's said they wouldn't write if nothing big happened... what was going on?

Awkwardly, James excused himself to go and see what the owl was about. Petunia watched scornfully, the Evans parents watched with interest, and Lily ate her breakfast, because after seven years, she didn't find it remotely unusual for owls to bring mail at breakfast.

When James got outside, he gave the owl a piece of damp toast and then pulled the letter off his leg. As James read, his legs seemed to go very, very watery and he had to lean against the wall. Fighting back tears, James pressed his lips together and reentered.

When James came back inside, Lily noticed that his shoulders were very slumped, and his face was very pale.

In a heartbeat, Lily was at his side. "James? James, what's the matter? James!" When James spoke, his voice sounded strangled; choked.

"Dad's died," he said shortly. And then he dashed from Lily's side up the stairs.

James was lying, motionless, on Lily's bed when he heard her softly knock. Even in his muddled grief, James thought, nobody else knocks in that particular way. Then he said, "Go away, Lily."

Lily was hurt, but she came in anyways. Her heart broke a little bit when she saw James, looking very empty, lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

"James?" Lily sat on the edge of the bed and James sat up.

"Lily, I don't want to talk to anyone. Not even you." James was stern.

But Lily refused to be moved. "Sometimes you don't want to talk to anybody, James. Those are usually the times when you have to." James swallowed the lump in his throat, with some difficulty, before speaking again.

"Look, Lily, I love you, but you—you wouldn't understand." James turned away so that she wouldn't see him struggling to keep the tears in.

"You're right, James, I don't understand. And you know what? It's killing me to be standing here while you're in pain and not being able to do anything about it." Lily put her arms around James. "Come on, James. It's going to be okay."

The tears that had been building up in James' eyes finally spilled over. His voice cracking with strain, he said, "Lily... Dad was... everything. He taught me to fly, he was the one who opened my letter... He's always been, there, you know? And I can't imagine him not being there. He is—was the one I went to about... everything. School. Sports. Girls. I never had any uncles, or a grandfather, see, so he was all of those for me. And now... and now..." James couldn't finish, he was crying too hard. Lily could feel him shaking in her arms.

They sat like that for maybe hours, with James sitting, crying weakly, in Lily's embrace, Lily occasionally wiping a tear away or patting his hair down like a mother would. Finally, James stopped crying. Lily stood. Some private understanding passed between them, and Lily left the room without complaint. James had to be alone.

Going downstairs, Lily realized that for once, their roles had been reversed. James had always been the rock, the stronghold, the one to lean on when she had to. But now she'd had a chance to do for him what he did for her, and that, Lily thought, was the best feeling in the world.

James was writing to Sirius. _Padfoot,_

_Dad's dead. I got the letter this morning. I'll be late back at school, as I'm helping to plan the funeral. Mum's invited you as well, if you'd like to come. After all, you are practically family, and I know this will be hard on you as well as on us. _

_It was weird, Sirius. It's like an out of body thing, you know. Part of me thinks Dad will be there in June, ready to pick us up, but the other part (the smart part, but also the painful part) knows he won't be. The other part knows that he'll never be there again._

_I've also written to Moony and Wormtail. I saved you for last because I guess I thought this was going to be the hardest letter to write._

_I've got a lot to tell you about other things too, but that can wait until I'm back at school. _

_Mischief managed,_

_PRONGS_

James tried to ignore the occasional salty splashes on the page where tears had fallen, and he sent the letter off, along with the letters he'd written to his mum, Remus, and Peter. Then he went to the window, stared out at the yard, and tried not to think.

It was a long time before James returned to school about a week and a half after term began that year. All the teachers had given him leave, and a squat, bookish Hufflepuff had temporarily taken the role of Head Boy. When he got back, Lily saw that James was a lot different. Thinner, for one, and his eyes seemed just a little bit darker, a little more shadowed.


	5. Chapter 5

**MUCH ADO**

_**I said leave but all I really want is you.**_

June came too fast for Lily, who spent most of her time cramming for exams in the common room. Goodbye to lounging in the grounds, goodbye to talking in the evenings. She studied, studied, studied, wanting to pass the year with top marks. And, to the disapproval of Sirius but the pleasure of Remus, James usually joined her, bent over his books and trying to concentrate through the promising skies of summer that could be seen through the windows.

Classes were harder than ever, and Lily was more stressed and distracted than she'd ever been when one day in early June, she bumped into a bitter faced boy wearing Slytherin robes. Lily looked into the dark eyes of Severus Snape.

"Snape," she said awkwardly. She wished that the look of hate in his eyes would go away. Why was he looking at her like that? It was unnerving.

"Evans." It hurt Lily that they weren't even on a first name basis anymore. But, she reminded herself, he was dabbling in the Dark Arts. He hates you now, remember? Lily zoned back in as Snape said, "How's Potter?" He seemed to spit out the words.

Lily gave him a look that plainly said, _how dare you ask that question!_ "Not terribly well. His dad died in April; it was really hard on him. And now with exams... I'm afraid it's too much for him." Lily immediately berated herself for spilling her soul like that. Snape was NOT her friend anymore!

No matter how much she wished he was.

Awkwardly, both boy and girl walked away.

That night, Lily tore herself away from her books, figuring that her last exam was Monday and she'd been studying all week. Instead, she pulled James into a private corner and said, "Guess who I ran into earlier."

James shrugged, and Lily said, "Severus Snape. He wanted to know how you were."

James raised his eyebrows. "Well, what did you tell him?" he asked apprehensively. Lily didn't reply. Instead, she gazed out the window, and James noticed that she was in one of her nostalgic moods.

Sighing, she said, "I miss him."

James frowned. "What's there to miss, Lily, he's a Death Eater! He called you a—Mudblood—and he'd do it again in a minute if it got him on You Know Who's good side! You can't trust him."

Lily was irritated. "Well, I do miss him. I miss the talks we'd have about Hogwarts. I miss him telling me things... I wonder if his parents still fight." James threw up his hands.

"Lily. He's a two-faced, untalented Slytherin bully, what do you care about him anymore? You shouldn't dwell on the past, Lily."

Haughtily, Lily replied, "Don't you tell me what I can and cannot do, James Potter. You used to be just as bad as he is now, don't you forget it."

James wanted to scream. Snape? Really? Was she not over that yet? Bitterly, he said, "I've changed, Lily, he won't. He's in Slytherin, where dwell the... ambitious and self loving. Where dwell the Death Eaters and the cursers. He's not worth holding on to, Lily, really." James felt he was pleading a bit there, but he let it go.

Angrily, Lily stood. "James Potter. I will let go of things worth letting go of, and I will hold on to things worth holding on to. People can change. Seve—Snape used to be a friend of mine, and pardon me if I appreciate my friends!" Lily stormed off, and, after the anger had worn off, began to cry. Had she just fought with James? Beautiful, clever, brave James Potter, whom she loved with all her heart? The tears came and wouldn't stop.

James berated himself. He'd gone too far this time, he knew he had. And Lily was a sensitive sort of girl when it came to fighting. He felt awful. What had he done?

The next day was a Saturday, but Lily didn't leave her room for breakfast, or to study. Mary stayed up with her, trying to talk reason into her.

"Lily," she said. "Just go ask James to apologize. He's obviously in the wrong. And it's not like he can come up here to do it. Apologize, that is."

Lily shook her head. "I don't know, Mary. It was me who was to sharp. I should have just let it go; I know how much James hates Sev—Snape. And he probably doesn't want to talk to me. I'm a horrible person."

Down in the Great Hall, James and Sirius and Remus (Peter had somehow burnt off his hair and was in the hospital wing with a very red head) were having a very similar conversation. James hadn't slept the previous night, trying to think of ways to apologize to Lily. He came up with none.

"James, stop moping. This isn't like you. What happened to Prongs? Mr Ringleader, Mr Go-Getter. Mr Ladies Man, what happened to that guy? I happened to like that guy a lot. Now I'm stuck with Mr Dogbreath"("Hey!") "and Mr Pouty Face. What kind of choice is that, I ask you!"

James let his head flop down onto his plate in a very melodramatic but entertaining sort of way. Remus grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled him back up. "James Potter!" he said sternly. "You listen to me. I don't personally see what the problem is. You and Lily argue all the time. What makes this time so bad?"

James slapped Remus' hand away from his hair. "I told you. This time we didn't just tease, we fought this time, and it's my fault, I started it. I should have left well enough alone, but I couldn't, and now I may have ruined what has been the happiest relationship of my life."

Sirius not-so-very-sensitively pointed out that, though he'd snogged before, he'd never actually dated anyone until Lily. Both James and Remus slapped him upside the head.

"The point is, Sirius, I made her cry, and I don't know how to fix it. What if she hates me?" James felt helpless, and he didn't like it. He'd never been in this position before. Always before it had been simple teasing, or they'd been having a heated argument that ended in one of them kissing the other. But this? This was new.

"Buy her flowers," Sirius suggested. Then he sniggered. "Buy her a lily!"

James stood. "I've got... studying to do," he said. He wanted to get away, be alone with his thoughts. Usually he hated that, but right now, it seemed a lot better than being mocked by Sirius, who, thought James, regrettably, just didn't get it.

James was walking slowly up to Gryffindor Tower, thinking he would see if Mary was there and talk to her about Lily, when he ran into the Headmaster.

"Ah, James!" Dumbledore said, falling into step with him. "Looking agitated, my boy! Whatever is the matter?"

James had never imagined he would be having this conversation with the Headmaster. He didn't know how to reply. Finally he said, "It's a—girl thing. You're... old, you wouldn't understand." To his surprise, Dumbledore laughed heartily.

"Well then! I wish you luck, my boy!" He walked bouncily off, leaving a bemused James to stand in the dim corridor and wonder if his Headmaster had gone mad.

Lily had been forced out of her room by Mary and was now aimlessly wandering the second floor, wondering where James might be. It was a cloudy day outside, and by result dim in the castle. Hardly anybody was outdoors, and so all the corridors were crowded—except, Lily thought curiously, this one.

Lily was just thinking of going back to the common room and looking there when she bumped into a large, burly shape whose face she recognized to be that of Lucas Madrid, a seventh year Ravenclaw with bad marks and a dirty Quidditch record.

"Um, hey, Madrid? Could you let me through, please, I'm sort of in a hurry," Lily said apologetically. She looked up into Lucas' face and a stab of fear shot through her. She could see he had no intention of letting her go.

"Hello, there, Evans. Fancy meeting you here." Lucas grinned in a way that sent shivers up Lily's spine.

"Well, I do go to school here, Madrid, it's not that funny,.." Lily was backed against the wall now, trying to think of a way to get away.

Lucas took a strand of her red hair and sniffed it in an extremely creepy way. He was too close now, far too close. Lily felt panic building up in her. Surely he wouldn't do anything in the corridor, she thought. But of course... the teachers would still be eating... and... and there was no one on the floor to call out to. She was trapped.

Suddenly Lucas pressed his lips to hers. Lily tried to push him away, but he was too big, too heavy, she was only half his size... Lily kicked him hard as high as she could manage (which wasn't very, but it did the job). "Get away from me, you creep!" she screamed.

Lucas was still too close, though he was cursing now. "I don't think so, Evans. Somebody so pretty shouldn't go to waste on a boy like Potter..."

"Don't talk about James like that! He's a thousand times more honourable than you, you filthy scumbag! I won't say it again, GO AWAY!"

Lucas had her trapped and Lily knew that she wouldn't get away until he left. Somehow, she had to scare him, make him leave... She barely noticed his hands on her hips, too low, lower than James had ever gone in all the time she'd been seeing him... her mind was racing, trying to find a way to get away... and then Lucas was lifted away from her, hoisted into the air as though attatched to a great rope. Lily breathed a sigh of relief.

James had been on the second floor, still wondering about Dumbledore, when he saw Lucas Madrid's burly shape covering up a considerably smaller shape in the corner. The small shape had flaming red hair, and appeared to be protesting. James' eyes narrowed.

What's he doing, James thought, seething mad. What is he doing to my Lily? James raced forward and before he could think, cried, "Levicorpus!" and Lucas' body was flung into the air, soaring above James and Lily.

James made sure Lucas saw him, and then he jerked his wand so that Lucas' head banged against the stone wall. "That's for hurting my girlfriend, you slimy little bastard," James said in a dangerous, quiet voice. He jerked his wand again. "And that's for scaring her. Now," he said giving Lucas (who looked scared) his angriest look, "you'd better get out of here and not come back, because, I swear," he jerked the wand yet again. "If you touch Lily Evans again, I will be personally responsible for your death."

Lucas nodded, terrified. Lily could tell that it was killing James not to murder Lucas know, which she found both adorable and scary.

"James!" Lily screamed. "Stoppit, you'll get yourself in trouble, too. JAMES!" She shrieked.

James had dropped Lucas in a bleeding, terrified heap on the floor before rushing over to where Lily still cowered in the corner. "Lily, Lily, are you all right? Did he hurt you?" James had a look in his eye Lily couldn't place, and she had never seen it before; it seemed to her like a strange combination of lingering anger and protective love.

James had just opened his mouth to say something more when the unmistakeable "click, clack" of Professor McGonagall's heeled boots approached. James whirled around, and when he confirmed who it was, his high spirits sunk. Quietly, he said a very rude word that made Lily say, "James!" in an appalled tone.

Professor McGonagall's eyes were steely, her lips pressed thinner than James had ever seen them. Dreading what she would say, James said, "This isn't what it looks like, Professor, honestly..."

"I think I know exactly what it looks like, Mr Potter. Now, how many points shall I take from Gryffindor for beating up an innocent student? And Head Boy, too..." James couldn't take the disappointment in her voice and face, but she didn't understand!

"Professor!" Lily said. "It wasn't James' fault, Madrid was scare—"

"He was going to hurt her, Professor!" James hated how Lily downplayed everything. He had been going to hurt her, James knew it, Lily knew it, Lucas knew it, and now Professor McGonagall did too. "I couldn't just watch him do it, she was scared..."

"I wasn't scared, James."

"Yes, you were."

"Shut—"

Professor McGonagall interrupted Lily. "Be that as it may, I will still have to deduct points. We cannot have our students abusing each other in the hallways, Mr Potter. Twenty points from Gryffindor. Rest assured, Mr Madrid will be dealt with by the Headmaster. Good day, Mr Potter, Ms Evans."

After the professor had gone, Lily said, "Look, James, thanks for that back there. You were... amazing, really. Terrifying."

James grinned. "You think so?"

Lily nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

**PETUNIA DURSLEY**

_**Close enough to hope you couldn't see what I was thinking of**_

The day she got home, Lily's mother gave her news that made part of Lily happy and the other part very, very disturbed indeed. Petunia was going to be getting married—to the beefy Muggle Vernon Dursley, no less. While Lily was thrilled for her sister, she wished she was marrying somebody, anybody else.

The wedding had been planned since before Easter. Lily was somewhat annoyed that nobody had told her about the wedding until now, but that was nothing on how she felt about not being a bridesmaid for her sister.

"She just doesn't want to be outshone," James told Lily after she told him. Lily shrugged.

"I think it's more that she wants a nice, normal wedding, with a nice, normal spouse, a nice, normal best man—and nice, normal bridesmaids. I don't blame her."

Lily and James met Petunia's fiancé a week before the wedding. Lily had invited Vernon and Petunia out to dinner in a Muggle restaurant, so the group met up at 7:00 on a warm Monday in late June. The restaurant was nothing too high-calibre, just a simple Italian place not far from Cokeworth.

The evening started awkwardly. When Petunia introduced Vernon, Lily had had to try hard not to gape. He was a round, beefy man a few years older than Petunia who had no neck whatsoever, a stern expression, and a bushy brown moustache that covered a good percentage of his very red face.

"Hello, Vernon," she finally managed, sticking out her hand. "I'm Lily. I'm Petunia's sister." She tried hard to keep her plastered smile on her face.

Vernon shook her hand cautiously, replying, "Ah, Lily. Yes, I've heard quite a bit about you from my Petunia... You're the one who went to that funny school, then?" Lily nodded, her smile faltering. What had Petunia told this man about Hogwarts? How much did he know, and what did he think of it?

"And I'm James. I'm Lily's..." James felt awkward introducing himself as someone else's date.

"James and I are dating," Lily finished. James shot her a thankful look. "Nice to meet you, Vernon."

The evening did not exactly progress well. Vernon told James all about his drill firm, an extremely boring-sounding place called Grunnings. Then, after drills, it was his car, and then the new house. James countered by explaining all about Galleons, and his broomstick, and his grandfather's place in Godric's Hollow. To this, Vernon said irritably, "It's all weird, that's what I say! There's no need for wizards to go around messing up the ordinary world."

James' eyes flashed, but he said nothing. Lily said, "Well, isn't it nice to have everyone together for dinner." Nobody paid attention.

Petunia finally spoke. "Vernon and I are going to be living in Little Whinging. That's where he grew up." Lily knew that Little Whinging was far from Cokeworth—very far.

James said, in a voice Lily found sickeningly polite, "Little Whinging? Never heard of it."

Vernon retaliated. "You wouldn't have. It's a very normal town. No wizards in Little Whinging! None at all, isn't that right Petunia?"

"None at all? Sounds like quite a dull place to me."

"James!" Lily put her head in her hands. This was not going at all like she planned. She had wanted Petunia and Vernon and James to get along, not fight!

Vernon stood. "Rather dull and boring than bizarre and abnormal, my _good_ fellow."

James stood too, pulling Lily with him. "Lily, I'm leaving."

Lily burst into tears.

Soon after, James and Lily were sitting on an uncomfortable pew in an overheated chapel. Petunia was wearing a very frilly dress as she walked down the aisle to meet Vernon in a too-tight suit. Lily couldn't concentrate. She was too aware of James' arm around her waist, his other hand tracing shapes on the top of her thigh.

Finally, she couldn't take it. She stopped his moving hand. "James," she whispered. "Knock it off!"

"Why? What's wrong?" Lily usually didn't mind him doing that when he was bored, or tired, or in a flirtatious mood. Matter of fact, she never minded it. Until now.

"Because! If you don't stop I'm going to have to kiss you, and here? At my sister's wedding—it's not the time or place. Now shush."

The rest of the wedding was hideously boring, and Lily was starting to wish she hadn't told James off. At least she'd have something to think about other than the fact that her dress was sticking to her back in the heat, that her hair was starting to frizz and that she really, really had to go to the bathroom.

It seemed like a miracle when the wedding finally ended. Now, Lily thought, she and James had two glorious hours before what promised to be a hellish reception.

James and Lily were among the first out of the church. Lily went to say a short congratulations to her sister and Vernon while James waited. Then, finally, Lily was free.

Clouds were gathering in the humid air outside. "Thunderstorm," James commented. Lily nodded. There was no need to speak. They both knew what the other was thinking—let's get as far from here as we possibly can.

The couple walked down to a nearby park, which was deserted, probably due to the ominous clouds. It was crowded with trees and benches. After a few minutes, James sat, and Lily followed.

"Nice wedding," James said. Lily laughed.

"Don't lie, James. You hated it. Frankly, I did, too. It was hot, and it was tacky. Awful, just awful. I'm not looking forward to three hours of reception, either," she said glumly. "Oh, well! We have right now." James nodded, playing with the ends of Lily's hair.

"All right, Lily. You can't fake it any longer. What's on your mind?" James hadn't ignored Lily's distracted manner all day.

Lily bit her tongue. "You," she confessed. James smiled.

"No, really. Tell me." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Don't be stupid. It is you. I couldn't concentrate all day," Lily said, smiling.

James felt a funny jolt run through his whole body. He ignored the voice in the back of his mind that told him that they should probably get going and touched his forehead to Lily's and let his fingers linger in her hair, but he didn't kiss her, not yet. Oh God, he thought. He could feel Lily beside him, could feel that she was worried about missing the reception but still wishing that they might.

Adrenaline seemed to have shot through his veins. "Lily," he murmured. God, he loved her. She smelled flowery—like apple blossoms, he decided. And she was _right there_. He kissed her. Suddenly, Lily pulled away.

James frowned, hurt. "James," Lily said. "I—we—I want to kiss you, really, but I can't. Not now. Not here. We can't do this today. Come on, we should go."

James berated himself. James Potter, you are always the irresponsible one, aren't you? He said to himself angrily. Why is it she's always telling you off?

The beginning of the reception was just as dull as Lily had anticipated. She listened unenthusiastically to speeches—again, Petunia hadn't invited her to make one—and picked at her roast potatoes. It was only when the dancing started that things got somewhat interesting. Lily watched her sister twirl across the dance floor, glowing with happiness, and she saw a side of Petunia she'd never seen before.

With a real smile on her face, Petunia was pretty, Lily saw. Vernon—though he was dull, rude, and very anti-magic—made Petunia happy, Lily realized. That fact alone meant that she forgave him for everything, including what he'd said to James.

Her train of thought was interrupted by someone's hand on her shoulder. She turned her head to see a grinning James. She smiled. "Care to dance?" James said. He put his hands on her waist.

The twirled around the dance floor to a spot that was relatively private. "James," Lily said, impressed. "I thought you couldn't dance." James laughed quietly.

"Well, I couldn't. But then you told me I couldn't, and so... I learned." Lily's eyes did that thing where they went adorably wide, James noticed.

Lily was shocked. She knew James could be sweet sometimes, but this? This was amazing. "James... that's... that's so sweet."

James shook his head. She still didn't understand. Smiling softly, he said, "Lily, don't you get it? There is _nothing_ I wouldn't do for you. As long as I can make you happy... I will."

Lily spent a long moment staring at James' beautiful eyes and trying to think of something that was romance-novel-worthy to say. Finally, she came up with a phrase that seemed to sum up everything she felt at that moment, dancing under the twinkling lights with James. "I always wondered what it felt like... being in love."


	7. Chapter 7

**ASKING QUESTIONS, GIVING ANSWERS**

_**And you looked at me, got down on one knee. . .**_

James Potter was in a jewellery store. A Muggle one, because he thought that Lily, who recently had been dwelling on the Muggle world a lot, would rather have a Muggle ring. Oh, Merlin's beard, he thought as he paced the store. I can't believe I'm actually going to do this.

"Excuse me, sir?" James looked up. "Can I help you?" The attendant was an old woman with a head of thin gray curls and a lip-sticked smile. James nodded.

"I'm looking for an engagement ring," he said, flushing slightly. The attendant immediately broke into a wide, toothy grin. James felt a bit sorry for her. He wondered if she'd ever married. He looked at her hands and deduced, no, she hadn't.

The lady said, in her quavery voice, "What's her name?"

James, taken aback, didn't answer right away. Were all people in the Muggle world this pushy and nosy? After a moment he said, in a voice that the lady (her name tag said Pauline) noticed held near-reverence, "Lily. Lily Evans."

Pauline smiled knowingly at James before replying. "A girl with a name like Lily needs a delicate ring—nothing too out there! What sort of thing were you thinking? Diamonds? I always liked diamonds myself..." James let the lady ramble on, considering.

He hadn't come to the store without doing his research. In the past few weeks he'd found out nearly everything there was to know about Lily when it came to gemstones—and he knew that she hated diamonds; he could remember the conversation perfectly.

"I hate diamonds," she had said. "They're pretty, but they're hard, and cold. Like ice, but in a ring. And they're colorless—they remind me of some people: the ones who are beautiful on the outside, but empty on the inside."

He also knew that Lily loved pearls. He remembered what he'd had to say about them, too. "I love them: they're so round and perfect, yet imperfect. They shine, but they aren't transparent, and they aren't too oppressive, but not to pale, either."

"Er... she loves pearls, I know. And..." He fished around in his mind for another gem Lily had been fond of. Then it came to him. "Sapphires."

The lady walked to a back shelf in the store. There were rings of white gold and rings of regular gold, rings with pearls and rings with sapphires. There was even a ring with both. It struck James, and from the moment he looked at it, it screamed 'Lily Evans' to him. The band of white gold was delicate, and the two small pearls that were nestled beside a small, yet strong and beautiful. He knew she would love it.

That is, he thought... if she said yes.

Lily heard a smart tip-tap on the window of her apartment. Yawning, she got up from the desk where she was working on a letter to her parents when she saw a handsome tawny owl outside—James' owl. Curious, she opened the window hastily and let the owl inside. The owl, which seemed tired, gave her a piteous look and Lily, sighing went into the kitchen, looking for something to feed it.

Finally she returned with a fistful of crackers. Setting them down, she tore open James' letter. It was short, but intriguing.

_Beautiful Lily, _ it said.

_Meet me at our park in London on Saturday, just before midnight._ Lily remembered that park, where they'd had that date. The date where James had asked her to dance, and there had been no music, so he had conjured an enchanted violin. The park they'd returned to at Easter, via apparition, just before Mr Potter died, she remembered. The park they'd been to a thousand times, not far from James' house. Wondering, she read on.

_I want to talk to you. It's important. I can't wait to see you, beautiful Lily. I hope life is treating you well in Cornwall. I love and miss you._

_Yours only, _

_James_

"Yours only," Lily repeated in a murmur. She liked the sound of that. She liked that James had written it, for her and only her. It made her heart feel as though it were swelling up to three times its normal size, making it impossible to keep from smiling.

Lily took out a quill and ink, and replied on the back of the sheet of parchment,

_James,_

_I'll be there. I can't wait. I miss you too. Give your mother my love._

Like always, Lily was lost for what to write. She needed something to match the romance of James' signature. She wished that words would come to her like they seemed to come to him.

_Always and forever,_

_Lily_

On Saturday night, Lily looked in the mirror one last time. She was agitated about her hair, but her roommate was out, so she had no one to ask about it. Taking one last glance at her floral dress, Lily apparated.

The stars twinkled overhead. The moon cast shadowy light in the park. Lily looked around, and then she saw James, standing a few feet away, holding a bouquet of violets, which were her favourite. Smiling, Lily approached.

James saw her in the moonlight. Her red hair was clipped away from her face, and her floral dress was more than beautiful. James smiled. She was perfect. And she obviously cared enough to make an effort, which gave his writhing stomach a fresh burst of confidence.

A part of James' brain told the rest of his brain, 'You idiot. She'll never marry you.'

'Shut up,' said the rest of James' brain.

After what seemed to be eternity, Lily was standing in front of him. She was beautiful. She was more than beautiful. She was a vision. James laid the flowers in her arms. The late August night air seemed much hotter all of a sudden.

James slipped the ring out of his pocket as Lily breathed in the sweet smell of the flowers. He knelt on the soft park grass. W hen Lily looked back, she looked confused (she was so adorable when she was confused) for a millisecond before she made the realization. Then she gasped.

James opened the box, trying desperately to stop his fingers shaking. Why was he so nervous? He shouldn't be so nervous. Could she see his fingers shaking? She must be able to.

James shook these thoughts of his mind. "Lily Evans. You are the one I love; the one I want to be with. And if—if you could give me the honour of being able to love and protect you for the rest of both our lives...I would be... happier than you can imagine. Beautiful Lily. Clever Lily. Perfect Lily Evans. Will you marry me?"

A slow smile spread over Lily's face. James saw that she was crying. Her hands were over her mouth and she seemed unable to speak. James was torn. Should he get up? Or should he stay down? How did people DO this? Before he could decide, Lily had started laughing with exhileration.

"Yes! Yes! Oh, James, oh, my God, a million times, YES!" James stood and Lily threw herself on him. James reflected that if he had been asked to introduce himself at that moment, he would have said,

"I'm James Potter—the happiest man in the world."

Lily and James lingered in the park, enjoying the moment that their engagement would be theirs and theirs alone, when James said, "I was scared you would say no."

Lily shook her head.

"James—you should know. I could never, ever, ever say no to you."


	8. Chapter 8

**LOVE IN THE AIR**

_**You'll never have to be alone**_

There was a special sort of buzz in the air at the Potter's house in September that year. The wedding was planned for the first of October. Lily could hardly believe any of this was happening, it seemed so unreal. She and her parents were living with James and his Mum in the big house while the mothers planned for the wedding, James and Lily wrote invitations, and Mr Evans stayed out of it as much as possible. All he knew was the day of the wedding and what he was supposed to do. Nobody made any effort to educate him further.

The activity around the house was unbelievable. The day that Lily planned to send out invitations (all by owl), she and James were sitting on the bench they'd shared their first kiss on.

"Have you sent all the invitations you wrote out?" James asked her. Lily nodded.

Then she added, "Well... all but one." James looked confused.

"I—I wrote one for Snape," Lily said guiltily, not meeting James' eyes. She looked at the sheet of paper in her hand. "But you know what? It's not his business anymore." She looked from James, to the paper, and back to James.

And then she tore the paper up.

Mrs Potter and Mrs Evans took Lily dress-shopping on a rainy day. It took a very long time—the first dress made her look fat, the second made her look short. One was far too long, the other appallingly short. Some had too much lace. Some were made for size two models, others made for women the size of houses. Around lunchtime, Lily was starting to get frustrated. Was she really so hard to clothe?

Mrs Evans bought lunch at a nice steakhouse not far from a dress shop that they planned to visit after they ate. Lily was almost afraid to look in the store, lest she find yet another dress that made her look absolutely hideous.

The dress shop was a cute, pretty place with a storybook-like front: white panelled walls, shuttered windows and a pink door that leaked soft, romantic piano music.

There was nobody inside the store except for a middle-aged woman who is dressed like she is Lily's age. Her hair is curly and oppressively auburn, browner than Lily's own, she noticed. Her eyes are wide and blue and eager to have a customer. Almost immediately the lady (her nametag says Joanna) breezes over to the Evanses and Mrs Potter.

But Lily paid no attention to the woman, not yet. She was taking in the dress shop, trying to judge whether or not she would find a dress here. It didn't look promising—the racks were filled with all sorts of things, fluffy purple bridesmaids dresses (Lily noted that the longest one would have looked nice on her sister, had she not already been married), adorable pale blue dresses the size of a young flower girl, all sorts of things that could be used to nearly every occasion, but only one lowly rack reserved for the bride's dresses.

"Good afternoon!" Joanna said in a very perky voice. Lily cringed. She was not in the mood for someone to be so perky. "Welcome to Joanna's, the wedding shop for you! Now, what can Joanna's do for you fine ladies this afternoon?" Joanna stared expectantly at them from those creepy blue eyes.

After what seemed like a very long silence, Mrs Evans spoke up. "My daughter is looking for a wedding dress. She's getting married just next month."

At this Joanna stood up even straighter and her blue eyes got even brighter, if that was possible. "Oh, we have just the thing for her! What are your wedding colours? What sorts of flowers are you using? Does she want a train, or no train? I think we have just the cream colour to go with that nice long red hair... and her eyes! Oh, it'll bring out her eyes so well..." Tuning Joanna out, Lily followed her to the back of the store where the lonely shelf stood.

Joanna pulled a hanger off the rack. The swath of silky cream-coloured fabric hung to the floor from where Joanna held it, just above eye level. There was a train in the back, and the bodice was sewn over with lace. The dress had a small, white cardigan to cover the shoulders, something that screamed 'autumn'.

"Well, Lily, dear?" Mrs Potter said. "Do you want to try it on?"

Lily loved the dress but was fairly under confident when it came to how it would look on her. Lily had never been overly concerned with her looks, until she started liking James in the middle of sixth year. She didn't think of herself as beautiful, as James so often called her, but she hadn't ever been insecure about herself, either—until today, when all teh dresses in Britain seemed to make her look like a cow.

Lily slipped into the dressing room and stepped out of her jeans and her rain jacket. Pulling the dress on gently, she tried not to look in the mirror. She didn't want to see.

When Lily was sure that the dress was on perfectly, she opened the door. Wincing at the thought of her mother and Mrs Potter trying to tell her how bad it looked, she opened her eyes. "Well? How bad is it, then?"

Joanna gasped. "Oh... oh, darling... that dress was made for you." Certain that Joanna's eyes must be going, Lily turned to her mother.

"Mum? Be nice, now," she said, bracing herself for the worst.

"Oh, Lily! Honey, you—you look like an angel. Tabitha, come see!" Mrs Potter, who had been examining a pair of earrings on a rack at the front desk, dashed over, beaming when she saw Lily.

"What did I tell you?" she said triumphantly. "I told you we'd find the right dress in the right place, and I was right. That dress is gorgeous. It was obviously meant to be yours; you ought to go look in the mirror."

Reluctantly, Lily walked over to the mirror, gasping in shock and wonderment when she took in her reflection.

The girl in the mirror was beautiful. She was wearing a long, cream-coloured dress that hugged her hips and waist and fanned out perfectly to form a romantic train behind her. The dress's colouring made the girl's fair skin seem darker, and made her red hair contrast brightly. Her green eyes shone.

"Mum, I—I look—I'm beautiful." Lily immediately kicked herself mentally for how vain that sounded.

But her mother nodded. "Nobody could deny it, Lily. You have to have that dress."

And fifteen minutes later, the dress was Lily's.

When Lily had hung the dress in Mrs Potter's closet, she went outside in the backyard, where the clouds were clearing up and James was lying on the carpet of grass, staring at the sky.

"Do I get to see the dress?" he asked, not turning his eyes toward Lily. She wondered how he'd known she was there.

"Nope."

James didn't protest, which was when Lily knew that something was wrong. "James? What's the matter?"

James coughed self-consciously. "It's nothing, really, I just... I just always imagined Dad would be there on my wedding day, you know?" Lily nodded.

"I understand. I always thought Petunia would come to mine." Petunia hadn't accepted her invitation, which made Lily regret sending it by owl post, especially when Vernon was so against it.

Then Lily sat up. "But this is no time to be sad, right? Think of it—in less than two weeks I'm going to walk down the aisle, and we'll say our vows—" Lily was leaning in ever closer—"And then you'll do this."

Lily kissed James, which brought a smile back to his face. Lily wasn't satisfied. "Come on, James, laugh. I won't have you all melancholy, not right before your mum expects us to make polite dinner table conversation." When James didn't react, Lily traced her fingers lightly on his neck. Chuckling in spite of himself, James jerked away.

Lily grinned, tickling him on the stomach this time. She knew every place he tickled, she realized with a start. James retaliated, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her down so that he could tickle her behind her knees. Kicking and fighting, the two rolled around on the grass, melancholy mood forgotten in the lightheartedness of the moment that reminded both of them of their first date.


	9. Chapter 9

**I DO**

_**All that I can say, is now it's getting so much bigger**_

The day was brilliantly sunny, though the sky lied. It was chilly outside, but Lily woke flushed with excitement. This was the big day, a day she'd been waiting for a very long time. Today James Potter would be hers forever.

Everything seemed a blur as her mother and James' mother rushed to get her ready. The wedding would be at three that afternoon, and there seemed so much to do.

Finally, the mothers were satisfied with Lily, and they let her look in the mirror. The girl seemed unfamiliar, but, no, there was the freckle above her eyebrow that had been there her whole life, and the mark on her chin where she'd needed stitches at age five. It was still Lily Evans (not for long, Lily reminded herself), but prettier, dolled up to be perfect to the eyes of the beholder.

When Lily entered the chapel with her father leading her, there were a million things to see: her friends, James' friends, Mary, her maid of honour, and Sirius, the best man. The violets and bluebells and the ribbons and balloons. The minister standing at the front, behind James. But Lily didn't see any of it.

All she saw was James.

She is beautiful, James thought. A thousand images rushed into his mind: a glowing angel, a dazzling star, the sunset over water, a clear mountain lake, a perfect rose covered in dew—none could compare. He wished that the music would allow Lily to come to him faster, or allow him to run down the aisle and meet her.

And suddenly, James was glad Lily hadn't let him see the dress, see her in all her euphoric glory, the triumph and joy that shone from her eyes right now. It would have ruined this, the magic of that first moment: when the groom lays eyes on his bride and his heart seems to swell up to four times its regular size before melting right out of his chest.

"Beautiful Lily," he whispered. He could have cried from happiness, could have sang for love. He was hardly aware of his best friend watching him, or of Lily's friend Mary nearly crying. He was only aware of here, and now, this one line of vision, this path to beauty and glory and perfection, this aisle that Lily was walking up—and she was almost here.

The rest of the wedding passed by in acute detail for James—the minister's readings, and the sermon. The crying faces of his and Lily's mothers, Remus smiling a few rows back from the front, with Peter beside him, with an odd expression on his ratty face.

And then the vows.

"Will you please, as an expression that your hearts are joined together in love, now join your hands?

"Lily Evans, do you take this man, James Potter, to be your wedded husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him So long as you both shall live?"

Time seemed to slow down. When Lily spoke, her eyes were leaking joyous tears and her voice, James noticed, was so full of love, and happiness that she seemed to nearly swallow them. But they rang out across the chapel. Loud and clear. "I do."

James' heart soared, because, until this moment, it hadn't seemed real, and he had been harbouring a guilty fear that someone better, more honourable than him would come and take his Lily away. But now nobody could.

"And do you, James Potter, take this woman, Lily Evans, to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, for better of worse, for richer or potter, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, so long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

There was a soft tenderness in his voice that James himself did not recognize, a kind of protection, a sort of devotion. Very far off in his mind, James heard the minister tell him that he could now kiss the bride. Before he could move, Lily had flung her arms around him and kissed him in an act of reckless spontaneity that he had never seen the likes of from her.

James Potter.

Still the happiest man on earth.

"Congratulations." It was about the four millionth time Lily had heard the word, received the handshake or hug, and said thank-you before passing the person onto James. Regularly, she'd have been bored out of her mind. Today, she felt that her soul was flying. She could touch the stars. She could do anything. She had James.

When finally everything was finished, the hugging and the greeting, the wedding photos, Lily and James had nearly half an hour to spare before they were expected at the reception. They bid a quick goodbye to Sirius and Mary, who were, somehow, dating again, and retreated to a corner of the chapel, outside, behind a beautiful big old tree, who's leaves were glowing red and orange in the autumn air.

"Today was like... a fairytale, James," Lily said, her hands in his. James smiled, nodding.

"Beautiful Lily." It was the only pet name James had ever had for her. Never 'baby', never 'sweetheart', or even 'honey'. It was only ever 'Beautiful Lily'. "Beautiful Lily Potter."

Lily felt something in that moment—total completion. She could have dropped dead right then, and felt that her life was missing nothing. Hearing James' name and hers together made her realize that she would never need anything—not as long as she had James.

James was perfectly, flawlessly content. Sirius on his one side, beaming, Lily on his other, beaming wider, and him in the middle, feeling as though he might burst for joy. The food came, but James didn't taste it. The speeches came; James only took in parts. Unlike the ceremony, which had passed by in perfect detail, the reception was a blur.

Lily, however, took in nearly everything: the food Mrs Potter had nearly cooked all by herself, with help from Mrs Evans, which was delicious, the babble of talk from the people, the speeches, some funny, some serious, some relaying things about James that she was sure he'd rather have kept to himself. She drank in the purple-and-white decorations, the occasional things that James or Mary would whisper in her ear.

And then, when the speeches were over and everyone had eaten, exactly two hours before the cake would be cut, Lily and James stood, and were hussled onto the dance floor. James took her hand and they twirled away in a waltz, both of them stumbling occasionally, but not noticeably.

Lily's green eyes were alight with joy, her face flushed, and her red hair starting to become somewhat flyaway. She was perfect, James decided.

The evening went quickly after that. Lily and James danced with a million people, and then with each other again, and then with the same million people. Around ten, they cut the cake, and the people in the crowd gasped: for the cake had been enchanted so that "James and Lily: ALWAYS AND FOREVER" was written in perfect cursive writing on the inside of each slice.

And then, at one o' clock, the bride and groom left, smiling, glowing, shining in each other's arms.

Once outside, they apparated to a guest house in the English countryside—their luggage was already there—the landlady was waiting for them.


	10. Chapter 10

**ALWAYS AND FOREVER**

_**Every move you make, everything you say is right**_

The room was nice, but Lily didn't see it. Her eyes existed only for the gorgeous man in front of her. "Merlin, James," she said, her face close to his. She spoke no more. No words needed to be said. She didn't have to tell James she loved him. She knew he could see it, feel it in everything she did today.

James wasn't sure how it had happened, but they were on the bed now, still clothed, Lily lying next to him, their faces touching. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, but he couldn't put it in to words. He wasn't sure he could put anything into words right now.

He kissed her, and he tried to tell her in that deep, slow, passionate kiss everything that he had thought and felt and known since he had first laid eyes on her. He tried to tell her how much he loved her, because that kind of love couldn't be put into words. It had to be shared in physical unity.

And then suddenly James' jacket was lying a foot away on the floor. Lily was slowly unbuttoning his shirt, savouring every moment. It didn't have to be fast. They had all the time in the world.

And then his shirt joined his jacket, and Lily was tracing her hands over his bare chest. _I love you,_ every move said. _I want you. _Every move she made was right. Everything was perfect and beautiful and overwhelming.

He wanted her, too. But he still couldn't speak, he still couldn't express what he wanted so badly to tell her, so overwhelmed was he with feeling and emotion. James' hands were in Lily's hair, but, without any conscious command from his brain, they moved down to her back, and settled where the zipper of her dress lay.

And then the beautiful dress came off to reveal the much, much more beautiful woman underneath.

For a moment, neither man nor woman moved. There was a split second of supernatural silence, so thick and pure that it seemed unreal.

And then finally, James found his voice. He found it, lost somewhere in the beautiful depths of Lily's green eyes, and he said, in a voice so thick with emotion that he feared it would crack, "Lily Potter is the most beautiful woman in the world."

Lily smiled softly, tears sparkling in her dazzling eyes, and replied, "More beautiful than Lily Evans?"

James nodded. He looked at the floor, where all their clothes lay, and he looked at the angelic being beside him, and he kissed her, and he said, "Because she's mine."

And he was on top her all of a sudden, and it was the best feeling in the world: part love, part satisfaction that any moment, any one second of his life could be so wonderfully full. His lips found hers again, and he loved every minute of it—his thoughts were disjointed until they made no sense anymore, and he was ready, and she was ready, and this was what he was made for—loving Lily Evans with all his heart and soul and being.

Nothing could match this, final unity with his one and his only, final perfect togetherness. This was closeness that could not be matched by anything else. This was something that was theirs and theirs alone, something that would never belong to anybody else. This was perfect. This was everything he thought it would be, and better. A thousand times better than he could have ever imagined that loving Lily could ever be.

Minutes seemed to pass by in mere seconds, time was on a fast forward, and James was doing everything he could, trying to please her, trying to know what she needed from him. Every move said that he loved her. Every move she made in response told him that she loved him, too. This was unreal; this was heaven.

The air was thick with emotion, with words unsaid, and every sense was on overdrive, everything that James saw and heard and felt that night was magnified a hundred thousand times in his euphoria that at last, at last, he and Lily were perfectly together, like two puzzle pieces, fitting perfectly beside each other. One could not exist without the other.

The night was sparkling and spotless, the air was thick with it, love shared, love made, love between two people, so deeply passionate in that one moment that neither could speak, neither could even think for feeling and loving and knowing, knowing that this was it, this was everything that mattered: each other, Lily and James Potter, together, one heart, one love, always and forever.

James woke the next morning very late. He had half a mind to get up and get dressed, but he didn't want to wake Lily. Instead he kept perfectly still, his arms still around her, and let thoughts of last night flood his mind. James didn't know it was possible to feel so happy.

He was just deciding that he would have to get up soon, because he really had to pee, when Lily opened her eyes. "Good morning, beautiful," he said, smiling. Lily blinked sleepily.

"Morning, James." Lily gave him the sort of look that made James kiss her. He sighed.

Lily pulled herself out of bed and pulled on clothes—a pair of jeans and a turtleneck for the chilly October day. Cringing, she saw the time on the clock—it was nearly noon. And even so, she thought, laughing, she'd hardly slept at all.

James tiredly pulled himself out of bed, too, dressing and coming over to where Lily stood. He felt more connected to her than ever before. They shared something that he shared with no one else. Something special, that was reserved for the kind of love that James had only ever felt for Lily. The kind of crazy, stupid love that made you do things like charm music out of your wand, that made you take dance lessons, that made you give your whole self over to another person, knowing that they had given you their whole self, too, and knowing that they would never ask for it back.

It was the kind of thing, James thought, which he would never have believed possible. Only two years ago, he had been so different. Lily had changed him. Lily had made him better. Lily made him want to be better.

The following week was the best of Lily's life. James and Lily hadn't wanted a fancy, far-off honeymoon. They had rented a small, adorable cottage not far from Godric's Hollow, and there they stayed for seven days, full of that perfect, amazing buzz that was only felt from fresh love.

On October 9th, the happy newlyweds returned to Godric's Hollow. Mrs Potter and Mrs Evans had been unpacking all of Lily's things, and the wedding gifts, and when Lily stepped in the house she was amazed. It wasn't huge like the Potter house, but it was big, plenty big for a family of two.

Lily smiled at that word. She and James weren't just a couple anymore. They were a family.

"Welcome home," James said.


	11. Chapter 11

**A BIT OF A SHOCK**

_**You might have me believing**_

Lily woke up the morning of December fourth feeling like she was going to be sick. At first, she rolled over to wake James, before remembering that he wasn't there, he was at Sirius', visiting. Cursing, Lily rolled out of bed, trying not to be sick before she reached the bathroom down the hall.

Leaning over the toilet, Lily wished James were there. He always managed to make her feel better. She tried to imagine him holding her hair back and smoothing it, standing there, making her feel safe. It didn't work. Her imagination didn't do James justice.

The terrible nausea passed as soon as it had come, and Lily, flushing the toilet, stood. The clock read five-thirty. Knowing that she wouldn't be able to sleep again, Lily walked downstairs and wrapped a blanket around herself. She knew that James had said he'd be home by noon today, and now all she had to do was wait and think. While she was going to put the kettle on, a terrifying thought struck Lily.

She dropped the kettle with a clang. Water spilled out onto the floor, which Lily absentmindedly wiped up. Her mind was doing frantic math.

It was December fourth, which meant that her period should have started two days ago. She hadn't had it last month either... and... her mind raced back to the second day of her honeymoon, the day she should of had her period. She couldn't remember having cramps, or bleeding, or anything.

Lily's breathing got very shallow. She was torn. Should she call James? Or should she be sure before she told him? Should she make him come home? No, she couldn't do that. Biting her lip, Lily made her decision. Waiting anxiously, Lily watched the clock until it ticked up to eight o'clock, at which point she went upstairs, dressed with shaking fingers, and pulled on her shoes. Tucking her wand in the inside of her jacket, she concentrated, and apparated, whirling away to the doctor's office in the nearby city of Ivanson.

Lily sat nervously, waiting for the Muggle doctor. Lily had considered going to a wizard doctor, but she had decided that for this, she wanted a Muggle doctor. She wanted this to be a part of her Muggle life.

What seemed like an eternity later, Lily walked out of the office, smiling wider. All her fear about telling James had disappeared and been replaced with swelling joy and the feeling that all the love that she harboured for James had doubled to twice its normal size, and she was having a moment. How she wished that she could share this moment with him. He should be here.

Lily looked down at the very slight bulge on her stomach. It was so hard to see that you wouldn't notice it if you weren't looking for it. You would think she was simply gaining weight if you didn't know what it was.

By the time Lily had gotten over her moment and apparated back home, James was back. He had been cooking breakfast, assuming that Lily was still asleep. He was home nearly two hours early.

"James?" Lily said timidly, walking into the kitchen and putting her hands on his shoulders. James let the spatula flip its own eggs and turned around.

"What is it, Lily? Are you hungry? I'm making eggs." James kissed her forehead, something that he'd been doing every morning since their wedding.

Lily didn't answer James' questions. Instead, she said, "I love you so much," and leaned her head back. How was she going to do this? She knew James didn't picture himself as a father. Lily could see him raising an amazing child, but, knowing James, he would freak out.

"I love you too, beautiful Lily," James said, smiling. "Mmm. You look tired."

Again, Lily ignored what he said. She didn't talk for a long time. Finally, she found a way to break the news. It was lighthearted, she thought. She hoped it would produce the least hard-to-deal-with shock from James.

"James... which room do you think we should turn into the nursery?" Lily asked the question quietly, but James heard. He heard loud and clear.

"Lily... what did you just say?" James' voice sounded scared and shocked.

"James, I went to the doctor this morning. We're having a baby." For a moment, James looked terrified. Then he smiled. It was Lily's favourite smile of his: not the one he smiled when he was feeling mischievous, not the one right before he started laughing, but the one that said, _I love you, and you make me happy._ The soft, tender smile that he smiled when he was feeling perfectly happy, because of Lily.

"Lily. Beautiful Lily." James laughed with exhilaration. He was going to be a father.

Maybe he had been laughing with fear ( could a person do that?). He just couldn't see it. He, James Potter, a father? He knew nothing about parenting. He was irresponsible. He was only nineteen, and he was terrified.

Lily kissed him, cutting of his train of thought. He tried to tell himself that it would be okay; Lily would be a brilliant mother. She would get him through this. He wasn't upset. He was thrilled. He felt as though his heart had grown to spread throughout his entire body. But he was scared.

"Isn't this amazing?" Lily said, laughing. "A baby! I can't believe it." Lily beamed at James. She was in shock, happy, blissful shock.

James nodded. "Neither can I."

Lily was on the phone with her mother. It had taken some persuading, but finally she had convinced James that they should get one so that she could keep in touch with her Muggle friends and family.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring._ "come on, Mum, " Lily said agitatedly. "Pick up the phone!"

Finally her father picked up. "Dad! Dad, James and I have... brilliant news. Um, is Mum home? She'll want to hear, too."

"Lily, sweetheart... what's up?" Her father sounded worried.

"Dad...James and I... we're going to have a baby." Lily could hear her mother crying on the other end of the line, before she said,

"Come on, honey, give me the phone.

"Lily! That's... amazing! When did you get the news?" Her mother sounded so excited, almost as excited as Lily herself had been.

"Just today," Lily said, smiling. "This morning. James was gone... so I went alone. I probably should have waited, but I couldn't take it. He was pretty freaked out when I told him, but he's thrilled. Scared, though."

Lily's mother sighed. "Oh, honey. He has every right to be scared. Your father was terrified when we had Petunia. But you'll get through it together, because you love each other. And don't be scared to come to me and your father—well, me for advice. I'm with you every step of the way, all right, dear?"

"I know, Mum. I love you."

James put his hands over Lily's eyes as she hung up the telephone. "Guess who?" Lily turned around.

"You ready to tell Mum?" Lily took his hand.

"I'm ready. Are you?" James nodded, and Lily, resolved, clenched her jaw. "On three," she told James as they prepared to apparate. "One... two... three!"

After a split second of crushing darkness and whirling space, Lily and James landed hard on the Potters' front lawn. The snow cracked beneath their feet, and Lily shivered. Her coat wasn't thick enough at all. James put his arm around her waist protectively. "All right," he said. "Here we go."

James rang the doorbell. After a few moments of silence, Mrs Potter came bustling up to the door. Her face light up when she saw James and Lily. She opened the door and hustled them inside out of the snow.

"Lily, James! Oh, come in, come in, you should have told me you were coming, I could have made tea! Here, let me take your coat, Lily, dear, and yours, James. What brings you here?" Mrs Potter ushered them into the living room, where a fire was crackling merrily in the grate. It had been only a few months since she'd been here, Lily realized. Her life with James felt like it had begun an eternity ago. Like it would go on for another eternity.

"Er, Mum," James began. "Lily and I have some news that we thought it would be better to tell you in person. Since you don't get mildly freaked out by apparating like her Dad does." James drew Lily a little bit closer to himself. James paused for a very long time, and Lily cut in.

"James and I are... we're having a baby, Mrs Potter. You're going to be a grandmother." Mrs Potter gasped with delight.

"Oh! Oh, I'm so proud." Smiling, she stood and kissed both Lily and James on the cheeks. "Now, now, you must stay for tea and tell me all about it...

"Well," James began, "It came as a bit of a shock."

Two months later, when the office had started the long progress of becoming the nursery and Lily's stomach was considerably more noticeable, the telephone rang. Lily got up to get it, but James stopped her. Lily rolled her eyes. "James. You don't even know how to work the thing. Let me get it; I'm not made of glass, you know."

Sheepishly, James agreed, and Lily answered the phone to hear her older sister's voice. "Lily, I heard the news, and, well, Vernon's out of town, and I want you to meet Dudley.. So, how does tomorrow work for you?"

Lily, taken aback, said, "Just a moment!" and turned to James.

"It's Petunia," she said. "She wants us over tomorrow, to meet her son." This was the same woman who had refused to come to Lily's wedding? James was appalled.

Lily caught the look on James face and shook her head. "We're going," she said, in a tone that James knew he couldn't argue with. "And you're going to try and be nice this time. Don't worry, Vernon won't be there. I actually think that he's the reason that Petunia wasn't at our wedding," she added, reading James' mind. She wanted so much for him and Petunia's family to get along, but because that was apparently impossible, she hoped he would at least be civil.

"All right, Lily," he said glumly. He hadn't liked Petunia before she married, and somehow he doubted that she'd changed much.

Lily went back to the phone. "Um, of course we'll come, but are you sure? I mean, I know you couldn't made it to the wedding." Lily knew she was guilt-tripping her sister, but she felt that she had a little bit of leeway. After all, Petunia had ignored her since the night at the restaurant, and now she suddenly wanted Lily over for tea.

"Oh, yes, of course I'm sure. You'll love little Dudderkins."

Lily made a gagging face at James at Petunia's creative nickname selection.

My sister, thought Lily, is a strange one.

The house at number four, Privet Drive, was too tidy for James. A place for everything and everything in its place, it was nearly immaculate, with hideous floral wallpaper, a perfectly matching pastel furniture, and harsh chandeliers that gave off the bright Muggle electrical lighting that James wasn't fond of. Blinking in the glare, he stepped inside behind Lily. "Remember—be nice," she whispered in his ear. James nodded, fidgeting.

There was a series of uncomfortable re-introductions, and then Petunia led Lily and James into the family room. The baby she was holding was fairly young, and already quite round, James decided. His head was covered by a thin swath of baby-blonde hair and his small blue eyes were nearly lost above his round, doll-like cheeks.

"This is Dudley," Petunia said proudly, settling Dudley on her very boney lap. Her smile when she said this was sickeningly sweet.

"He's—er—adorable," Lily said, plastering a smile on her face. She hated to lie, but this was obviously the expected response, and she didn't want to be rude, not now, when her sister was first talking to her.

Nobody spoke for a moment, and then Petunia went on, and on, about the funny little noise that her son had made the other day, and how he could pick up his own spoon (sort of) now. James coughed. Lily wasn't quite so bored, but she did wish that Petunia would stop talking and let her get a word in edgewise.

James sipped his tea and tried not to gag. It was very, very weak, and tasted as though four or five spoonfuls of sugar had been put in. James didn't usually take any sugar at all, so this came as somewhat of a shock.

Dudley started to wail. Petunia picked him up and after simpering over him for a few minutes, he finally quieted down. Then she said to Lily, "So, you're expecting, too, then?"

Lily smiled. "Yes. Er—only the family knows right now. We aren't telling anybody else—not even Mary and Sirius—until next month. We think it's for the best." It was code for, _Don't tell your horrible husband, please._

"I told Vernon when I found out. He was shocked. Said that it was bizarre that you'd just married." James clenched his jaw but said nothing, because Lily had shot him a warning look. He hated to sit placid while he heard tales of someone badmouthing him or, more importantly, Lily, but she wanted to badly for them to get along. He let it go.

"Oh, well. We're lucky, I guess. James' Mum was nearly thirty nine when he was born. Much longer and there'd have been no baby for the Potters'," Lily said, a lot calmer than she felt. This was stupid. They shouldn't have come.

Dudley began to cry again. He was reaching fruitlessly for the untouched candy bowl in the middle of the table. Without hesitation, Petunia put the bowl on his lap. Lily raised her eyebrows.

After a very long, awkward hour of small talk and tension, Lily abruptly stood. "Er, thanks for tea, Petunia. Um, we'd better be going, but it was nice to see you." Lily took James' hand and they apparated together, leaving an appalled Petunia staring at the spot in front of the couch where they'd been sitting.

Once back in Godric's Hollow, Lily started laughing. She couldn't help it. "That was awful," she said, trying to stop her laughter. James was laughing too, almost as hard as her.

"Did you see how big the boy was?" Lily nodded,

"And his mother! Catering to his every whim and fancy, oh, Merlin," she said, breathing hard. "James. James, promise me our child won't turn out like that. Promise me you won't let me be so stupid."

James promised, and the couple stood laughing for a very long time before they finally went inside.


	12. Chapter 12

**BUSY AS A BEE**

_**Everything is beautiful**_

Life was a buzz of activity for James and Lily Potter as the imposing due date of July 31st approached all too quickly. The office was painted yellow and blue, paintings of zoo animals and teddy bears were hung. A crib was bought, and the room was carpeted and readied to be the home of a baby.

The doctors had told Lily that her child was a girl, and after much deliberation she and James had finally settled on a name. The first name Lily had chosen, the middle name, James had insisted on. The baby growing in Lily's stomach was called Charlotte Lily Potter.

A baby shower was held for a small group of very select people—James and Lily's immediate families, Mary, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, who looked a lot thinner than usual and quite worried about something that he would not come out with. Lily put it down to Sirius pressuring him to lose weight and quickly forgot about it.

The Potters came away from the gathering laden down with all sorts of things that people thought would come in handy: everything from cute baby clothes with snitches on them, baby bottles, little tiny shoes, baby shampoo, baby lotion, and less practical presents, like picture books, stuffed animals, a combination of wizard and Muggle toys.

On the first day of July, Lily woke up and James wasn't beside her in bed. This puzzled Lily, because she nearly always woke up before James. She sat up, worried until she saw his shirtless form, hunched over on a chair not far away, under the window. Right away Lily knew something was troubling him.

Walking over, she asked, "James? What's wrong?" with a worried note to her voice. He stood, seeing that she was awake, and walked over to meet her halfway.

"Nothing." Lily caught the lie in his voice. Something was up.

"James Potter, don't try to lie to me. I know you too well," Lily reasoned, sitting down again on the bed. James followed and said,

"It's not a big—well—I guess... I'm scared, Lily." James looked at her with that rare helpless look that he sometimes got.

"James... what's there to be scared of?" Lily was speaking very quietly, so James wasn't sure he had heard her quite right. He answered anyways, lying back on the bed so that he was facing the ceiling when he spoke.

"I—I'm scared of messing up. I'm scared of making a mistake. I never even considered parenthood before December. I—I don't want to wreck your kid, Lily. She'll be too special for that."

Lily kissed James, which made him smile in spite of himself. "Oh, James. It'll be all right. I have faith in you. You're going to be a wonderful father to a wonderful girl. I know it. You know it," she said in his ear, a near whisper.

James tucked Lily's hair away from her face. "I'll do my best. I'll be my best. I promise." The morning sun warmed the room. "But that doesn't stop me being afraid, Lily."

"You don't have to be unafraid, James. I'm scared, too. But we're going to do it together, right? Take it one day at a time. Just like we always have," Lily gazed into his perfect hazel eyes. The moment felt so amazing—calm, and quiet, and loving.

James knew that he didn't have to be scared. He had Lily with him, and she would help him get through everything, he knew that perfectly well. But that didn't stop worry from welling up in his gut and taking over his thoughts. He was scared of disappointing Lily. He was scared of messing up.

"I love you so much," he murmured. He loved her so much that it hurt sometimes, the great pressure of his love for her and her child swelling and seeming to press against the very seams of his body, making him want to burst.

Lily pressed her slightly open mouth to James'. Pulling a way for a moment, she whispered, "Feeling better?"

"Yes," he replied. It wasn't a lie anymore.

Lily being here, in his arms made him feel a thousand times better. She was what kept himsane sometimes, he thought. Though he was the one making the protective gesture with his arms around her body... it was her who was making him feel safe.

Lily woke up at midnight on July 31st with a feeling of combined panic and joy. Quickly she woke James.

"Wassat?" he muttered, still half asleep. Blearily, he sat up and swung his legs out of bed. "Lily, what's going on? It's the middle of the night."

Lily was half laughing, half crying with pain and joy. "James," she panted. "James, the baby's coming."

James couldn't concentrate on apparating. Lily was in no state to do it herself, but James, distracted as his mind was, couldn't manage to make himself and his wife move even a centimetre, let alone miles. He drew Lily in. She was in pain, he could tell, and every five minutes or so she would cringe or cry out. Determined, he said, "Lily, Lily, I'm going to get it this time, it's going to be okay, we'll be there soon, deep breaths, Lily..." He was rambling but he could tell from her eyes that the words gave her comfort, and so he didn't stop.

Finally, James felt the familiar crushing weight of darkness envelope them, and a whirling sense of moving faster than Muggles thought humanly possible, before he and Lily dropped down onto hard pavement in front of a brightly lit white building. Relieved, James sighed. Everything was going to be okay now. Lily was going to be okay.

Lily was crying. It hurt James to see her like this, and he felt hideously helpless. She was lying there, obviously hurting, and there was nothing he could do but mutter the occasional encouraging word to her and hold her weak hand.

After what seemed like four lifetimes, the crying stopped. A doctor had taken Lily and James' baby and washed it before proclaiming, "It's a boy!"

"It's a boy?" Lily was confused. Wasn't... wasn't it supposed to be a girl? The ultrasound was wrong.

They laid the boy on Lily's lap for only a moment, just long enough so that she could see him and start crying all over again. Then they took him away.

It took far too long, James decided, for his son to be weighed and have his vitals checked. Every moment that his child was out of his sight, he felt a little bit antsier about it.

The doctor placed a beautiful, blanketed baby boy in James' arms. His face was red, what little hair he had was dark, and his eyes, half-closed for crying, were the exact same color and shape as Lily's, James noticed. "Harry," he said, smiling gently. He was so obviously a Harry.

This was his son. James had never imagined how it would feel to hold his son for the first time. He had never thought that he would feel like this: proud, protective, strong, loving, and perfectly, flawlessly happy.

Lily had heard him. "We can only name him Harry if you let me also call him James," Lily said in a tone that James recognized—he himself had used that tone when they were deciding on the name for what they had thought would be a girl.

Right before the doctor's let him hand Harry to Lily, James saw, in his mind's eye, a thousand things: Harry walking, talking, teaching his son to fly, showing him Diagon Alley, going into Ollivander's, then seeing him off on the train... and, later, an older Harry bringing home a girl at Easter, and graduating, and getting married, and—James was crying. He knew now. He didn't need to be afraid. He would be with Harry every step of the way, he and Lily, helping his son grow in to the man that James knew he would one day be.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN APPARENT HAPPY ENDING**

_**I still look at you like the stars that shine in the sky, the pretty lights**_

The first day that Harry came home, Lily was holding the small child. He was quiet, for the time being, and Lily was taking advantage by trying to keep him quiet. Only four weeks after Harry had been born, Lily had been allowed to go home, couple now turned family, wife now turned mother, husband now turned father. Lily had always known that James would make a great father, but she hadn't imagined him being this great.

By the time that they were inside, Harry was crying again. Hungry. Lily sat.

James was hovering in a protective and adorable, nervous sort of way. "Lily! Do you need anything? Are you okay?"

Lily was fine. "I'm all right, James. Sit down."

The days passed by, and they took them like Lily promised—one at a time. The stresses of pregnancy melted into the stresses of parenting. Harry seemed to grow every time Lily or James turned around.

The day that Harry first said "Dada," Lily was the only one in the house. James had been out shopping. He was nearly eleven months old, and had been making babbling noises for months, but Lily had been caught unawares. Her back had been turned as Harry sat in his high chair, giggling, before, out of the blue, catching sight of a younger James on the wall and saying, "Dada!"

Lily whirled around, tears in her eyes. She wished so much that James had heard his son say his name for the first time. Why had life let him not be here? She shouldn't ask him to do the shopping so much," she decided, lifting Harry out of his seat and playing with him.

When James got home that night, a bouquet of violets in hand that he had charmed to levitate out of the reach of the cat, Lily told him all about Harry over dinner. James was just as upset as she'd known he'd be when he found out he'd missed anything about Harry's life. Lily was almost certain that Harry was going to grow up a Daddy's boy. But, she thought, James isn't an idiot. He's not as irresponsible as he thinks he is.

"Next time, I'll be home," James promised. "Really."

Harry's first birthday was a small, happy gathering of only two people-his grandparents on both sides had died not long after his birth, so only Bathilda from down the street and Sirius came over. Sirius had brought an adorable toy broomstick that Harry took to right away—he nearly hit everyone's legs a few times and terrorized the cat.

After a few hours, Bathilda offered to babysit so that James and Lily could get away for an hour or so. The couple left the house and walked together down the street, hand in hand. They didn't speak for a long, long time. Lily was reflecting on Harry—on what would happen to him if You Know Who tried to recruit her and James again.

James' mind was wandering. He thought about Sirius, Remus, and Peter. He thought about his son, and about his wife. He thought about their days at Hogwarts. A particular memory caused him to burst out in laughter. "Do you remember the day," he asked Lily, "That you told me you wouldn't go out with me if it was a choice between me and the giant squid?"

Lily chuckled at the memory. "Even the best of us have to eat our words, sometimes, James."

It was a cold day in mid-October when Albus Dumbledore appeared in the Potters' living room. James, who had been upstairs with Harry, hurried down, and, to his surprise, saw his old school teacher sitting calmly on his couch, wearing long purple robes and looking completely uninvited.

"Er, Dumbledore! What brings you here... at eight o'clock in the morning?" James asked, rather accusingly.

Dumbledore looked up, with almost a startled expression on his face. "Oh, hello, James. I have some news for you." Dumbledore's face had gone grave. "Where's Lily? It's rather urgent, as you might have guessed."

"Er, shower. She'll be down soon. Listen, this isn't really a great time, Dumbledore, we were just—"

James was cut off. "I'm afraid that it has to be a good time, James. We may not have much time left." James narrowed his eyes. He knew that You Know Who was searching for them, but he had no idea where they were, or even if Godric's Hollow existed. What was Dumbledore on about?

Lily came down the stairs dressed in Muggle clothes, her hair in a towel. She was shocked to see her old Headmaster talking to James, who was rocking Harry back and forth to keep him quiet.

"Lily! Ah, there you are," Dumbledore said, folding his hands together. "Good. Now, you two, I'm afraid that I have some rather... upsetting news." He cast a regretful glance at Harry and James, Lily behind them. Lily frowned. It couldn't be... no. There was no way they had been found.

"I'm afraid that Lord Voldemort is aware of your residence in Godric's Hollow." Lily felt as though a balloon had deflated inside of her. Her heart seemed to sink down into her stomach and despair welled up inside of her, threatening to spill over. It was everything she had feared. She should have known that it was too good to last, her perfect life here with her family.

James kept his face expressionless, which scared Lily even more. She knew James well enough to know that the stiller he kept his face, the less he showed his feelings, the more terrified he was. "What do we do?" he said, his voice hoarse. This couldn't be happening.

Dumbledore stood and started pacing. "I believe," he began, his tone matter-of-fact. "That your best and only chance is the Fidelius Charm. The charm involves a Secret Keeper. Now. Who is it that you two trust above and beyond anybody else?"

"Sirius," James said immediately. Lily nodded. Sirius would never betray James. Sirius and James were near-family.

"Call him," Dumbledore told James. James shot something silvery out of his wand. His Patronus. Charming it to call Sirius, James let the Patronus go, galloping across the town. Less than five minutes later, Sirius had apparated into the living room.

"James, this is a bad idea." When Lily started to protest, Sirius cut her off, saying, in a frantic tone, "No, Lily, listen to me! Voldemort will come after me. He will know. And I don't trust myself like you trust me."

Dumbledore spoke up. "I could be your Secret Keeper, James and Lily. Voldemort could not defy me."

Lily considered it. She didn't know what to do. This choice that she and James had to make right here, right now could be the difference of Harry's life or death. Lily wasn't ready. She couldn't make the choice. Who did she trust more? She didn't know.

Sirius cut in to James and Dumbledore's hushed conversation. "I have an idea. Use Peter—no, listen—use Peter as your Secret Keeper, and then tell everyone I'm your Keeper. Voldemort will believe the latter, no doubt. After all, who would use someone as weak as Peter in the place of a skilled wizard?"

Lily beamed at Sirius. "You. Are. Brilliant. Honestly, you are, Sirius." She turned to James. "You want to do this?" James nodded.

"It will work. I know it will. Peter may be weak, but he'd trustworthy. He would never wish us dead." James put his arms around Lily. "Dumbledore, I'll call Peter. We want to do the Charm."

Not long after, Peter was standing in the increasingly more crowded living room, and Dumbledore was chanting something long and complicated, tracing shapes in the air with his wand. Finally, the spell was complete. Lily breathed a sigh of relief. Her family was safe at last.

It was then that James noticed Dumbledore's gaze falling on something long, light, and silvery hanging on a hook across to room. Following his line of vision, James walked over to the Invisibility Cloak and took it down, placing it in Dumbledore's hands. "Impressive, isn't it?" James asked. "And old, too. My father had it before me, my grandfather before him. And so on."

Dumbledore nodded, examining the magical object in his hands. "Remarkable. Would you mind, James, if I took this to my office. It... intrigues me greatly." James considered before replying.

"Not at all. After all," he said, smiling around the room at his friends, who had given up so much, who had put their very lives in danger to protect Lily, Harry, and himself, "we won't be needing it anymore."


	14. Chapter 14

**UNTIL THE VERY END**

_**I can't breathe without you, but I have to.**_

It was a rainy, cold day. The wind whipped the branches of the trees around violently. The tapping of wood against the glass of the window woke Lily. She smiled. Harry was rarely awake when she woke nowadays. She found herself remembering almost fondly the nights that she'd had no sleep, the mornings that Harry woke wailing for food or for a diaper change at four in the morning, the nights she'd found so long, fondly. Though she hadn't felt that way at the time, Lily remembered with a smile.

A sense of foreboding welled up in Lily. How many more times would she wake with her family safe and sound? Don't worry about it, Lily, she told herself sternly. Peter would never sell you and James out. He'd die first. All James' friends would.

Lily stood. It was Hallowe'en, and she was excited. She thought of Hallowe'ens to come. Perhaps next year it would be safe to take Harry out to the people's houses. Perhaps next year he would actually be old enough to go. Perhaps by next year You Know Who would have fallen... Perhaps... perhaps...

Lily broke off her train of thought, hearing Harry whimper from the nursery down the hall. It was a sort of morning ritual for Harry; he would wake, and whimper for food, and then Lily would breeze down the hall and pick him up and feed him, all before James awoke at eight.

But this morning James came downstairs to join her while she was still feeding Harry. She was glad. She felt as though someone was watching her, felt as though eyes were boring into her back. She wanted James to be with her. She felt like she wouldn't see him again. She was reluctant to take her eyes off of him for fear that she would never see his face again.

The day passed by too quickly for Lily. Before she knew it, it was evening. What little light the day had had was fading fast by dinnertime, and the clouds, which had briefly cleared during the day, had come back to slide over the watery sun once more.

Lily watched fondly as James produced green bubbles from his wand, the result of which was the gurgly laughter of the smiling baby on the carpeted floor beneath him. Lily smiled and leaned her head on James' shoulder as he proudly watched his son, who was trying desperately to grab hold of one of the bubbles, only to pop it loudly. Smiling, James changed the bubbles into multicoloured smoke. He may have complained about being bored stiff without being able to use to Cloak to go out, but she knew that entertaining Harry entertained James.

For a moment, everything was perfect.

Late that night, Lily took Harry upstairs and laid him to sleep. Harry slept easy that night; there were no protests. Lily was thankful; she was tired and she wanted to sleep as well. She headed back downstairs and sat back down beside James.

There was a loud pop from outside. In a heartbeat, James was at the window, and when he turned around, his face scared Lily to the very core of her being, and none of the fear was for herself. It was all for her son and the man in front of her. She knew. He didn't have to say a thing, Lily knew. They'd been betrayed. Voldemort was here.

She knew.

James' heart felt as though it would beat itself out of his chest. Voldemort was walking up the block, he was four houses away-! "Lily," he said frantically, "Lily, go get Harry, take Harry and run, I'll hold him off-,"

"James!" Lily's voice was scared and scandalized. She would not let him face Voldemort alone. She couldn't.

But Harry... "I'm with you," she said, her heart breaking. "Until the end."

"Lily, GO! I can't lose you, run!"

Lily ran upstairs. She would not be with him.

Voldemort was just outside, he had raised his wand. James tried to go over every detail of the night in case he didn't live to see another. Making dinner, kissing Lily, playing with his son, conjuring bubbles from his wand in the living room, and then seeing Voldemort and dropping his wand to the floor with a clatter—

_His wand was in the living room._

A stab of fear such that James had never known shot through his being. His wand was in the living room. Voldemort would kill him like a chicken for slaughter, and he wouldn't be able to give Lily and Harry enough time to get out. He considered running into the living room, but there wasn't time, Voldemort was screaming an incantation and the door had been blasted apart.

The force of it threw James backwards a few feet. Voldemort laughed cruelly as he saw James, and James knew that this was it. He had only a few more seconds—he had to make them count, contribute to the time that his wife and his son had to get away. He launched himself at Voldemort, thinking he might get there in time to wrench away his wand, but the flash of green light met him in mid-air and threw him backwards. James felt a violent, painless jerk through his heart—and then everything was gone.

Lily was in the nursery, trying to pick up her son without waking him when she heard the sharp, loud words, "AVADA KEDAVRA," echo through the house. It felt as though everything she was had shattered, she could imagine James' body, lying, limp and lifeless. Her soul seemed to crumble within her, and if it hadn't been for her son Lily would have lay down on the floor and waited to die.

But she couldn't.

She heard Voldemort walking up the stairs when she realized the flaw in James' plan. If Voldemort got upstairs before she got down, he would be between her and their only way out. She was doomed.

But she wouldn't go down without a fight. Replacing Harry in his crib, now wailing loudly for fear, Lily turned her back on her son and stood firmly between the crib and the bedroom door. She reached for her wand before remembering that she'd left it downstairs. She swore.

Voldemort opened the nursery door. Lily was crying, nearly in hysterics. "Stand aside, girl," the cold voice said, its wand raised. Lily shook her head, screaming,

"No, please, no, I won't, I won't, don't take Harry, please, not Harry, take me, kill me instead—" she was begging, but she would not bend down, would not kneel in front of this man, this abomination who had killed her James.

"Stand aside, you stupid girl, save yourself!" Voldemort screeched the last word, appalled, Lily realized, that anyone could have the option to run and not take it. But Voldemort, Lily knew, didn't have a family.

"Please, please, have mercy, please, don't kill Harry, kill me, kill me instead, please, I'll do anything..." her voice was growing hoarse but she would not be quiet, not now, she would not let him kill Harry, he would not pass her.

She would not back down. "This is my last warning," Voldemort said. He was becoming angry, Lily saw. Her senses seemed to slow everything down, and she had time to look back at Harry. She did not want Lord Voldemort to be the last face she saw.

"No, please, take me." Lily swallowed. He would take her up on her offer this time, she knew he would. She filled her mind with thoughts of James and Harry and Mary and Sirius and everything she knew and loved.

And then Lily Potter knew no more.


	15. Epilogue

**EPILOGUE**

Sirius Black was crying for the first time since he was about five years old. He felt grief mingle with hatred in his heart. Peter. He had as good as killed his best friend by convincing him to use Peter!

Sirius trudged through the ruins of the house, looking for Lily's body. After all, when Hagrid had come for Harry, he'd promised to take care of the corpses. Struggling up the near-ruined stairs, Sirius found her lying limp in front of the crib, her face set in determination. He smiled in spite of himself. They'd gone down fighting.

Sirius pulled out his wand and levitated Lily's body down the stairs, above the rubble until it rested beside her husband's corpse. Then he magicked their hands until their fingers were gently entwined. Lily and James, resting together, forever and always until the end of time.

It seemed only right.


End file.
